I told a girl that she was beautiful, but she has a boyfriend

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Rythe
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I told a girl that she was beautiful, but she has a boyfriend

Unread post by Rythe »

I met this girl during vacation and we only had one week together. We hung out, went for ice-cream, played basketball and etc. At first I never thought she was going to talk to me because she was so attractive, but somehow she did and I just couldn't help liking her. During that one week I wanted to tell her how I felt but decided against it. When I got back from vacation I found out she was a model and she texted me that she didn't want people to think she was a shallow person. I texted her back saying that she didn't have to worry about what other people think because once they get to know her they would see that she has an amazing personality.
I said "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met." Then I told her that the one week we had meant a lot to me. She replied with two thank yous and said that it was honestly one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to her. Then she typed that I was an awesome person and friend. I followed up saying that it didn't have to be "one of the nicest things because it came from my heart and it was the probably the most honest thing I've ever said." I typed something else about school after that but she only replied to the latter.

I have a feeling she was trying to emphasize "friend" here and ignored the part of me saying something that came from the heart. I was aware that she had a boyfriend so did I say to much? Will she still want to be friends with me?
Sam W
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Re: I told a girl that she was beautiful, but she has a boyfriend

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Rythe,

Really, the only person who can tell you if you said to much or if she wants to continue being friends is her. Have you and she had any conversations since that last one, or has she gone silent?

When thinking about whether you've overstepped (or are about to overstep) with a crush, it helps to think about why you're doing a certain behavior and what you're hoping to get out of it (this article has some good advice on how to think about those factors: Puppy Love: The Do's & Don'ts of Crushes (With Help from a Very Small Dog) ). For instance, when you told her how you were feeling, were you hoping for a certain outcome beyond making a friend feel good by saying something nice?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Rythe
not a newbie
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2018 1:52 am
Age: 21
Awesomeness Quotient: I PLAY GUITAR!
Primary language: English
Pronouns: He/him
Sexual identity: Straight
Location: Death Star

Re: I told a girl that she was beautiful, but she has a boyfriend

Unread post by Rythe »

Thanks for replying!

Yep we are still texting I think everything is fine. I was just trying to be honest about how I felt and wanted her to know that she was an awesome person. I found the article really helpful! I think I'm fine with her just being a friend now and that's probably the best outcome I could ever have hoped for.
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: I told a girl that she was beautiful, but she has a boyfriend

Unread post by Sam W »

You're welcome! I'm glad the article was helpful, and that it sounds like the two of you are able to continue your friendship.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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