I can’t masturbate and I’ve tried everything!

[zucker04]

Hi so I’m 14 and have recently been exploring masturbation. I’ve tried many techniques: humping pillows, clitoral stimulation and general stimulation and nothing seems to give me pleasure. Never mind a climax. My clitoris is sensitive and when I touch it it doesn’t feel pleasurable at all but uncomfortable. Humping pillows etc causes too much friction and instead gets me hot and bothered rather than pleasurable. This is extremely frustrating as I would really want to experience this pleasure but not found a way. Is there anything else I can do?

[Heather]

Welcome to the boards, zucker. Sorry this has been so frustrating for you.

The first thing I'd do in your situation, if possible, is to see a healthcare provider. I say that because sometimes any of this kind of activity feeling painful or uncomfortable, physically, can be because someone has an infection or something else that actually needs identification and treatment. I'd just want to rule that out, because a) if you have an infection it's important for your health it's treated, but also b) if we give you other advice around this, it may not really help you out if you're feeling the way you are because of something physical.

That said, we can still also try and help you identify what might be going on here in the meantime, if you like. For instance, you don't say anything about how you feel before you do any of these things: are you doing them when you already feel sexually excited, or not?

Too, you don't talk about what it feels like not to focus on your genitals, but on other body parts, if you have. Masturbation doesn't have to be genital, after all, it can be about touching or engaging with any part or parts of your body, and sometimes starting with other parts or areas of the body can be what a person needs in order for things to feel good genitally.

[zucker04]

Hi yes when I do attempt to masturbate it is when I am sexually excited which adds to the frustration. When I say it feels uncomfortable I mean as to say it doesn’t feel nice in a sexual way just sensitivity but not in a way where I may have an infection as everything else is fine. Just when I try to masturbate nothing really happens!

[Sam W]

Hi Zucker04,

Thanks for clarifying! So, if I'm hearing you right, it's less that you feel pain and more that your genitals get sensitive in a way that isn't pleasurable. If that's the case, then Heather's other suggestion may be a starting place for you. If you've mostly, or solely, been focusing on your genitals, it may help to shift your focus to other parts of your body and what feels pleasurable in them. What if the next time you tried masturbating you focused only on doing things that feel pleasurable, even if none of them involve your genitals and even if none of them lead to orgasm?