Do you talk to your friends about sex & sexuality?

[Mo]

One thing I've noticed lately is that it's been really helpful for me to have a few friends I can talk to pretty openly about sex and sexuality, and that when I didn't have that group of friends, it was a lot harder to sort through sexual feelings and questions I had. It's one thing to explore my sexuality with a partner and something else entirely to bounce thoughts and ideas off of platonic friends, or deepen friendships by mutually opening up about our sexual feelings.
Has anyone else found this sort of friendship helpful, either in sorting out some sexuality questions or just having a good space to talk about sex outside of an explicitly sexual relationship?

[absicle]

yes yes yes! I have a couple of friends where we discuss our sex lives and sexuality quite often and it's so nice to hear other people's experiences and interests. I appreciate the regular reminders that relationships, sex, sexuality, and gender can look and feel a million different ways. Being able to openly share with a friend something like "I randomly started crying after having sex last night--even though it was great sex!" and have a friend respond as simply as "that's happened to me before too" is sometimes the most reassuring moments, even if we don't dig deeper into why something like that happened. It can also be wonderful to talk through kink interests with platonic friends. Sometimes, I've been interested in exploring something new and being able to talk through scenarios with friends really removes sexual pressure that might be present when discussing kinks with a sexual partner.

I have a few friends where I always thought sex was not a topic we could discuss. I recently started "testing the waters" by sharing my own personal experience with something sexual and checking in asking if it was ok to discuss. Since then, these friendships have also turned into very sexually open spaces, conversation wise, and these friends seem grateful to be able to talk openly with someone else about it. I try my best to let my friends know that i am happy to openly and positively talk out sex, sexuality and gender with them and am so grateful for my platonic friends who do the same for me <3

[Siân]

One of the things that drew me to volunteering here at Scarleteen is that I think/talk about sex and relationships a LOT. I generally find that the people I connect with best in friendships are the ones who have a similar level of openness, and I think that feeling like it's normal to talk about these things, plus being able to think through questions and wants aloud in my friendships has made it much easier to communicate in my romantic and sexual relationships. It feels good not to always be skirting around things that, after all, can be such a significant part of our lives and ourselves.

[Jacob]

All the time, it's basically my favourite hobby!

Most of all it just makes me feel myself, rather than trying to keep my interest in sex to a minimum in the work place etc.

[Redgirl]

I have a best gal pal and I talk to her about EVERYTHING. We've known each other since we were 8 and we can understand each other very well. I'm not saying it's the same for everyone, but it sure helps me with a lot of my strange little problems, especially the seriously personal stuff.

[Afte.rmath]

I live in a place where sex is considered taboo (although a lot of progress has been made within the past 10 years and people are now a lot more open, mainly the younger demographic), so not much discussion about sex or sexuality. It would be nice if people could talk freely about it without judgment. I've only met less than 5 people that are that open.

[Dreampuff]

I have a gal pal who I can talk about ANYTHING with and it's awesome. We've known each other since we were 8 so we know what makes each other tick. I can't really discuss much with my family except an uncle who is surprisingly regular and open. We have an unusually grounded way of relating and I can say or do anything without feeling judged. It's amazing and sometimes I wonder if it's even normal, but it feels so natural i can't imagine anything not-normal about it.