Masturbating

[Marshmallow765]

Ok so I know this may be wierd for a 14 year old girl to ask but I don't feel comfortable asking my mom. Is it possible to masturbate too much? So when I masturbate I feel good then after im done I feel like nothing just happened so I try again. Maybe I'm doing something wrong but I don't know.

Also I have another quick question to ask. If I am a girl and I identify as a bisexual girl but I have "boy" short hair does it mean that I'm confused about my sexuality or gender (I'm also a tomboy and I don't feel comfortable in skirts or dresses)?

[Heather]

It's not weird (not like being weird isn't okay, because it's fine when something IS weird, too!). It's actually a really common question people of al ages ask. And in case you didn't know, it's really common for people to masturbate at 14 and most people have done it even when they were super-little kids.

If masturbation is getting in the way of you doing other things in your life you need to do or want to do, or it's actually causing you physical pain or discomfort, then it might be too much, and you probably want to balance it out, that's all. It's also normal for masturbation or any other kinds of sex to vary in terms of how satisfying it feels. Think of it like dinner: sometimes dinner is AMAZING, sometimes it's fine, other times it's meh, and other times it's just icky. That's a lot of the same kind of diversity we can have in our sex lives.

In terms of your second question, your sexual orientation and your gender identity are different things. For some of us they're interrelated, for others not so much. But they aren't the same thing, even if and when they intersect. You can absolutely be someone who is bisexual -- who is attracted to people of more than one gender -- and someone who identifies as a girl, but who isn't and doesn't want to be femme. Those things aren't in conflict.

Do you want to talk some more about either of those things? We're happy to if you do.