Pee, NOT female ejaculation

[Caroline4233]

Im 16 and I have the exact same problem. But I do think it’s gross to get peed on by someone. And cum is way different than pee in my opinion. Sure they are both liquids and all.. but I don’t think my boyfriend would enjoy urine all over him. I feel very disgusting and ashamed. Because I can’t control it, even when it’s just me masturbating alone. Should I just never have sex with someone? Or is there a way to have a great time without peeing everywhere. I don’t like talking about it, but I know I’m not alone and theres always someone out there who could talk about it with me and not be ashamed. ~if you have a solution to my problem please please help me out.

[Sam W]

Hi Caroline,

I split this into it's own topic since the original post (viewtopic.php?f=21&t=5504&p=44955&hilit=pee#p44955) was a bit old. To make sure I have things right, is this happening every time you masturbate?

It's not all that surprising that you feel some disgust or shame around this, because a lot of cultural messages ignore or disguise the fact that sex is messy and that leads a lot of us to feel disgust around how our bodies act. But the truth is, there's lots of fluids that can be involved, be they ejaculate, vaginal fluids, sweat, menstrual fluids and, yes, sometimes pee. Bodies do things during sex, sometimes things we can't control and things we'd really prefer they not do because they're sticky, or messy, or smelly rather than,"sexy." Part of learning to be a sexual person is learning to be okay with a little bit of mess, and not be disgusted with yourself for having a body that does what bodies do. Does that make sense?

Too, this issue doesn't automatically mean you can't or shouldn't have sexual partners or masturbate. It'd simply be a matter of talking with your partner ahead of time and letting them know that this is a thing your body does and maybe setting up something like a towel or special blanket on the bed so you don't have to deal with too much clean-up (those are actually the same considerations you'd make if this was ejaculate, which is part of why Heather made a point in the original thread of noting how the fluids are far more similar than we often think).

If you are concerned you may be unable to control your bladder, or are urinating outside your control even after emptying it, it's a good idea to check in with a healthcare provider, just to make sure you don't have a bladder issue (or bladder or urinary tract infection) that needs care. So, I'd suggest just checking in since you have this concern to be sure you don't have a health issue you need to treat or manage so it doesn't get worse over time or get in the way of your life with or without any kind of sex or masturbation.