I'm new here and I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right place but anyway. I have a problem with pain during sex. I first had sex with a guy a few years ago, if it even counted, but most of the time he couldn't get it in, I would just close up, or I would have to tell him to stop and take it out after a very short period of time because it would hurt so much. It didn't seem to matter how much lube we used, it hurt me a lot.
I'm now in a long term relationship with a woman, and this problem is happening again. I can use a mooncup, and masturbate with a vibrator on my own with little or no discomfort, but when I'm with someone I just hurt. Sometimes she can use a finger, and I really enjoy it and want to continue, but anything more than that and we have to stop because I'm in pain, even with lube. We recently started using toys and a strapon, and she's enjoying it, but I want to as well you know? (I apologise, that whole paragraph was kind of TMI but I'm too sleepy to attempt to explain any other way)
I've been to a gynaecologist who didn't seem concerned. I don't have any STIs. The first time I visited I was fine, the second time we had to reschedule for another day because I closed up, but she still didn't seem concerned at all. She told me just to relax and use more lube. Should I try going to a different clinic?
I feel like I've been doing nothing but trying to relax for three years now, and I was wondering if anyone had any advice? Are there things I can do alone or with my partner to make this situation any better? Thank in advanced