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Painful sex

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Blazebyte
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2014 3:41 pm
Age: 29
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Bisexual
Location: United Kingdom

Painful sex

Unread post by Blazebyte »

Hello :) I'm new here and I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right place but anyway.
I have a problem with pain during sex. I first had sex with a guy a few years ago, if it even counted, but most of the time he couldn't get it in, I would just close up, or I would have to tell him to stop and take it out after a very short period of time because it would hurt so much. It didn't seem to matter how much lube we used, it hurt me a lot.
I'm now in a long term relationship with a woman, and this problem is happening again. I can use a mooncup, and masturbate with a vibrator on my own with little or no discomfort, but when I'm with someone I just hurt. Sometimes she can use a finger, and I really enjoy it and want to continue, but anything more than that and we have to stop because I'm in pain, even with lube. We recently started using toys and a strapon, and she's enjoying it, but I want to as well you know? (I apologise, that whole paragraph was kind of TMI but I'm too sleepy to attempt to explain any other way)
I've been to a gynaecologist who didn't seem concerned. I don't have any STIs. The first time I visited I was fine, the second time we had to reschedule for another day because I closed up, but she still didn't seem concerned at all. She told me just to relax and use more lube. Should I try going to a different clinic?
I feel like I've been doing nothing but trying to relax for three years now, and I was wondering if anyone had any advice? Are there things I can do alone or with my partner to make this situation any better? Thank in advanced :)
Johanna
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 574
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:40 am
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: San Francisco

Re: Painful sex

Unread post by Johanna »

Welcome to Scarleteen, Blazebyte!

You've already addressed a lot of issues we'd be asking about with a query such as this, but just to cover all of our bases, I am going to link you to an article that we have on pain with vaginal entry. Why don't you take a look at that and see if there's anything mentioned there that you have not considered yet, and we'll take it from there. From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse
"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." - Ayn Rand
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