Ending a relationship due to bad sex

[LaceyRose]

It's been awhile since I have been on here so I just want to start off by saying hello again!
I have a new boyfriend, and we have been together for the last few weeks but it was only this morning, in fact 4 hours ago, that we first had sex. I was attempting to take it slow on anything sexual with him after the fiasco with my last boyfriend but going slow never seems to happen for me.
The sex isn't necessarily bad, the bad part is that I just can't handle the size. The only thing that happened for about 45 minutes was me getting frustrated and him trying to be patient about it.
I am wondering if I could do some things on myself so that I can manage it or if it's best to just not deal with the frustration and walk away? I want pleasurable sex, I don't want frustrating and somewhat painful sex. But is it okay if I end a relationship because of bad sex?
And I know that women in porn take large things all the time, but how do they do it? Is it just all practice?
And yes we did use lube and he brought the lube with him, but it became a really sticky mess after a while. We also used three condoms, not at the same time of course, but I just wasn't trusting the condom to stay on with everything being so slippery.

[Gone.Sorry.]

Hey, LaceyRose. Nice to read you again. =)

You're allowed to end a relationship for whatever reason at whatever point you want. Your reason doesn't have to pass muster from anyone else. It doesn't have to meet some standard of "good enough" from anyone but you.

I'm not sure if they're exactly appropriate to link here, but I will say that there's plenty of advice out there on how to make sex with a girthier penis pleasurable, so you're certainly not alone in this issue. (In fact, I would call this question a commonly recurring question on one of the advice columns I regularly read.)

But this is also a fairly new relationship, and if you're not dedicated to finding a way to make it work, that's perfectly fine. There's nothing that says you have to try X amount of times before you finally throw in the towel. You're 16. You should be having fun and exploring and getting to know yourself. If this isn't how you want to be spending your time, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

[Sam W]

Hi LaceyRose,

HorribleGoose has already offered some really sound advice, so all I want to add is that you might find some help at this link: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... big_for_me. Too, if you want to keep experimenting sexually with this person, it may help to remember that there are other things you two can do besides vaginal intercourse. Hands, mouths, and sex toys can all be equally (and, for some people, more) fun to use during sex, so switching to those activities might keep you from feeling frustrated.

[LaceyRose]

my parents have adult content blocked and my school does the same, it's impossible finding SEX ED stuff and what I do find is mostly kid friendly stuff including how storks deliver babies.

But thanks for the input. He is a VERY good lover, we just have to work on this other thing. I'll give him a couple more tries, but if I can't manage it then I am running far away

[Sam W]

Ooof, content blockers of that nature are so frustrating (and, as you're discovering, keep you from accessing information that you otherwise need). That being said, if you're able to access us, you still have access to a TON of sex ed, which is good.

If he's an otherwise good partner and you're enjoying being sexual with him and want to give things another try, how about the two of you take some time to look over this resource? Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist. That can give you some ideas on things to try together that don't result in pain or discomfort, and help you each figure out what you do, and do not, want to try during sex.

[Heather]

I want to also make sure you know that you don't *have* to have vaginal intercourse in a sexual relationship. It's not like that -- or any given one sexual activity -- is required for people to have a fulfilling sexual relationship.

So, in the event it turns out that you want to be with this person as a sexual partner, and this activity just isn't one that works for you, so you want to take it off the menu and you're both cool with that, you don't have to ditch a whole relationship, or whole part of a relationship, you are into just because one sexual activity isn't a good fit for you two.