(Quick Warning- I go into graphic detail in this post so squeamish people might want to look away now)
I'm a 16 year old girl. I don't have any sexual experience, but I am relatively well informed. I have masterbated before but never penitratively (not through lack of trying mind you). After a years long battle of trying and failing to use tampons, today I decided it was time to explore myself better and took a look at myself with a torch, mirror and diagram. It's safe to say the diagram was redundant because I looked so alien I couldn't even identify what anything was.
After moving away the labia, at the bottom of the vulva I came across what should have been my vaginal opening. Instead there was this wall of flesh. I think it might be my hymen, but it's really thick and bulging a little. I think I've felt this wall before when trying to insert a finger or tampon. Fustratingly, I know the opening must be somewhere because I menstruate, but I couldn't see it. I stretched myself more (placing my fingers as far as they would go- just under an inch inside) to try and see below the wall, and I think there was some sort of opening there- but it looks to be sealed shut. Touching it felt very uncomfortable and it wouldn't open. Even writing this- about 20 minutes after, I can still feel a slight pain from where I stretched myself.
A little more context on my prior issues with tampons as I feel it is related. For the past year or so every couple of months I've made a few attempts to insert one (pads are just a nightmare and I really want to end my reliance on them ASAP.) The problem is, no amount of force will put one in. Changing the angle, relaxing, having a bath, using a plastic applicator/ minimum size. None of that works. One time I got very close to putting it in- I could no longer see the tampon itself, but before I could push it in the final amount I passed out. When I woke up I threw up and could still feel the tampon inside me, meaning I'd failed.
I'd just like to stress that my concerns about my vagina aren't aesthetic. I don't really care about any of that. All I care about is my vagina actually functioning as a vagina, and I'm concerned that when become sexually active in the future this is going to cause problems. If anyone has a similar story and/or an explanation I'd be interested to hear it. Thanks very much.
I did some "self exploration" and am concerned about the results
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Re: I did some "self exploration" and am concerned about the results
Hi Jess,
From what you're describing, it does sound like what you might be seeing is your hymen (AKA the vaginal corona). It's not super common, but sometimes the corona can cover most or all of the vaginal opening (some people also have naturally thicker coronas than others). You're right that since you noticeably bleed during your period, you likely have some gaps or openings that allow menstrual flow out.
Have you every been to an OB-GYN, either for a general exam or to talk with them about the issues you've had inserting tampons?
From what you're describing, it does sound like what you might be seeing is your hymen (AKA the vaginal corona). It's not super common, but sometimes the corona can cover most or all of the vaginal opening (some people also have naturally thicker coronas than others). You're right that since you noticeably bleed during your period, you likely have some gaps or openings that allow menstrual flow out.
Have you every been to an OB-GYN, either for a general exam or to talk with them about the issues you've had inserting tampons?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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