Painful Periods

[0PT1M15T1C]

So, I know with periods some pain is pretty normal but as I look more into those things and talk a little more with my friends and also like as time goes on I'm feeling a little more concerned I guess, and thinking it couldn't hurt to ask. My mom has told me her periods have always been painful, and I've seen that with her so I just thought like, hey, genetics this is going to suck. But also, talking to my friends over time, I'm really the only one who has the problems I have been.

As I mentioned they've always been quite painful, to the point that especially when I first started getting them, like a big example of this, is I got it while camping with a whole bunch of family and literally couldn't eat (I felt like I was going to throw up when I even thought about eating and genuinely had no appetite. I ate like a few chips and carrots over the course of like 4 days, it was crazy, but everyone knew what was going on), like doing anything was a lot more difficult, I was in enough pain to be crying because of it and was taking painkillers that only somewhat worked. Thankfully they haven't been that bad in a while, but I still like have troubles eating because I feel physically sick when I do. The last time I was at my friends house (pre-quarantine) after school, I got it and like that literally brought me to tears. It just seems kind of insane, because like there's times where I feel like I'm going to throw up even still. That doesn't sound like normal, I have a high pain tolerance as an athlete, like I can push through these things, but it puts me out completely. I mean, I play with broken/jammed fingers, bruised ribs, sprains, after surgery and with a concussion (best medical decisions - no but like I can stay off the field, it’d kill me) so like, I’m fine with most things, but this..hurts.

I mention that to my friends and never once have I heard someone say that they match that pain, usually it's like a discomfort for them. When I bring it up with my mom I kind of get the response of "welcome to the next few decades, it sucks, but it's life." I know like technically masturbating should help with that pain, but whenever I've done it while on my period, all it does is make things hurt more for a about 5-10 minutes after, and badly. Which I don't understand, because that should be a chemical/hormone (or I guess endorphins, but I'm not 100% on that I guess) thing that should make that pain subside a little but it just doesn't. I've been wanting to go see a OB/GYN for a while and it was always a thing we said "yeah we'll do that" and just never got around to actually doing. My mom and I actually started getting more serious about that and I started laying out plans that way... and then now there's a pandemic that just completely went out the window.

Is there anything other than like heat or like exercise that helps with this sort of thing, I eat extremely healthy (the rule in my house is I'm allowed to eat fruit/veggies whenever but if it's anything unhealthy I have to ask - and I like that, it's a good thing for habit) so like it shouldn't really be that. I would probably bring this up with the OBGYN when I go but it's looking like that's going to be some time and I really don't know what to do I guess. I try to like forget as much as I can when it's not happening that my body like does this, and I always seem to forget how much it really hurts. I really wish it was like I'm being a sissy but really, I'd rate this up there with when I got my concussion or like even breaking fingers and stuff, it's honestly like that for me. Also, is this like normal to be happening with the pain level? I do my best as far as staying hydrated and like I do most of the things that should help with this so I guess I'm just really quite stuck. I try to avoid pills at all costs honestly but sometimes that's really the only option and even then, it's about 50/50.

[Amanda F]

Hi 0PT1M15T1C,

I'm so sorry you're experiencing painful periods, and for quite a while, too. I'm also glad you aren't second-guessing or minimizing your pain - period pain can be very serious, and although it often just hurts on its own, it can sometimes be an indicator of another health problem. I think it's common for people who have periods to minimize this pain, but that's part of a larger cultural problem - we're encouraged not to see our pain as valid and as real as it is, which can lead to us suffering more than we should have.

For the moment, Heather's written a great advice article here about non-hormonal ways to reduce your pain level here: Stamp Out Cramps (Without the Pill). It's also okay to take painkillers if you need them! Common over-the-counter painkillers like tylenol, ibuprofen, and midol are safe to use during your period. As long as you're following the label directions and not combining them with other substances (like alcohol), your body will be fine.

We aren't medical professionals and wouldn't be able to tell you whether your level of pain is "normal" or not. But if you're suffering each time, then that alone is reason enough to seek help. (Being in a lot of pain really shouldn't be considered "normal" anyway, right? People with periods deserve to have their pain taken seriously and for research to be done into how to address this). This does sound like something you need to speak to an OB/GYN about. Although they may not be doing non-urgent appointments right now, you should be able to speak to one over the phone and tell them about your symptoms; that way they can decide whether you need to come in for an exam.

It's important to have a chat with your doctor because severe pain can indicate another health issue, such as endometriosis, thyroid issues, or something else. I don't know that what you're experiencing is any of those things, but a doctor can help you rule them out.

The folks at Clue have some information on finding trans-friendly gynecologists as well as links to some databases of those doctors.

[0PT1M15T1C]

Thank you, Amanda,

Yeah I kind of got to the point where like either way it's pain, I mean I don't like that and it's weird just how society views it but yeah, that's a larger cultural issue.

I read through the article and I do a lot of those, it just so happen to take vitamins that are mentioned there, so that's cool. It blows that I am doing a lot of them and like still dealing with the level of pain I am. With pain killers, honestly I know it's okay to take them but in my house there's some issues there and I just prefer to stay away from any pills, although yeah, I take them if things are really bad. As an athlete if I take painkillers, it puts me at risk if I want to workout or go for a run, it's why my coaches don't like that for sports so I just kind of prefer not to. I also hate having to ask my parents for that, like we've had some issues there for a few reasons (I took Midol to school one day, an almost full bottle because I was running out the door and was like dying, it ended up spilling in my bag and at the time I thought that meant they were contaminated completely even though my bad was clean and through probably like 10-12 out... my parents saw the bottle had a lot fewer and assumed I was just taking them for whatever reasons I wanted. So yeah), it also feels like I should be handling it better I guess.

I'll certainly look into like doing something like that over the phone because honestly I'm a little concerned at this point, especially when it comes to like eating...Like smoothies are great and all but I should be able to eat. it's interesting to hear about thyroid issues possibly being a problem, that sort of runs along my moms side, she's actually on medication for that. When I was in the hospital they were supposed to run a test because apparently that can also play into psychological things but it never happened. So yeah, I'll do that for sure.

I don't know if you guys would be able to answer this but is there any reasons that y'all know of as far as why it would hurt more if I masturbate during my period?
Also, do you have any tips on like how to talk more with my mom on this? Like she kind of sees it as just a thing that just is, but I'm kind of sick of it. Like it disrupts absolutely everything.

[Sam W]

Hi 0PT1M15T1C,

I would definitely call and talk with healthcare providers about your concerns, if for no other reason than they might be able to give you some insight on what the underlying causes might be.

With masturbation being painful, it may be that the tensing or contractions that come with masturbation and orgasm end up exacerbating whatever is causing the pain in the first place.

As far as talking to your mom about this goes, I think framing it as "this feels like a higher than normal amount of pain, and it inhibits my ability to eat or even just go through the day without crying from pain" might be the way to go. As Amanda pointed out, you could also add that even if there isn't an underlying condition, the amount of pain you're in is worth finding ways of mitigating.

[0PT1M15T1C]

I did end up calling healthlink last night just to see like what the best decision would be that way and also ask a few questions there, she did end up suggesting going to my doctor just because of the amount of pain it puts me in, everything else with it is normal and so that wasn’t the concern, but the pain certainly is.

Too though, she did say I could tough it out if I chose but it might be better to go and get a referral to a OB/GYN just in case and at least that way I can find some ways to better mitigate the pain. Or also, just talk to a doctor in general about what could be going on there so yeah.

I’ll definitely try talking to my mom using that point when I get a chance to (when she’s stressed really isn’t the best time for “hey let’s maybe go to the doctor during a pandemic”). I know they’re doing appointments only because both my brother and my mom had to go closer to the beginning of all of this but I think they are still open that way.

And cool, that’s what I thought it could be with the masturbation. I was just curious, I stop doing that because there’s no point during if it just causes more pain.

Thank you!

[Sam W]

You're welcome!

And I hope you get to troubleshoot all this with a healthcare provider soon. Just because things can, technically, be "toughed out" doesn't mean you need to deal with debilitating pain once a month if there are other options available.