Donnwannago, I just wanted to briefly poke my nose in to let you know that you aren't alone here as a rape survivor from assaults in your pre-teens and early teens. I'm also someone here who was assaulted in those ages, and I know what you mean when you say that people can tend to get particularly r...

Are you two using lots of lubricant, both before and during intercourse? Are you both also up to date with your sexual health screenings?

I don't know that I'd think of this as roulette, honestly. But for sure, if we want the methods of birth control or STI prevention we're using to be the most effective they can be, it's important we use them correctly. I do also want to add that it doesn't matter how much of the penis is inserted in...

So, unless your partner has had regular cycles for at least a few years and knows how to track her ovulation, there's really no point in trying to figure any of this out around that. That's just going to be so speculative as to be useless. Plus, if this is something that already happened, there's no...

This presents the same small risk of pregnancy that any exposure to pre-ejaculate does, and, perhaps obviously, would also present possible STI risks. So, when and if a condom is put on the worng way, you never want to do that. Instead, you want to toss that condom and use a fresh one.

I'm so glad you have the support of your older sister, Renee. I think it's great that you can stay with her so you can have some autonomy and independence, whether it influences your parents behaviour or not.

Hi there, Mary. You know, I don't think it is out of bounds to ask about working for him again, and I also don't think it's out of bounds if you want to try and continue to build the relationship you were with him. After all, you two had your own relationship that may have been because of him dating...

Hey there, ConfusedGrape. :) So, this: I feel I only start to notice myself getting more stimulated (either mentally or physically) after we actually start where I'm pleasing her and I notice her reactions. I feel like there's a lag between my body and mind sometimes. ...is a common way people exper...

Hey, Silly, it's nice to see you again! I have a few things to offer you around all of this. I think the idea that it's perverted to have sexual feelings for someone comes from our pretty sex-negative culture, cultural messaging that sex that sex is dirty but love or friendship are wholesome when th...

Hey there, hadleycee. I'm so sorry that you have experienced this, but I am glad that you found us and came here to ask for support. I don't think you're making a big deal out of nothing. I can't speak to "mild" assault or not, because I don't really think of assault as having grades like ...

I want to add that there isn't anything wrong with fantasizing about this.

In fact, you can think about that fantasy during your private masturbation at home, and that right there may give you the excitement boost you're looking for. Fantasy is powerful!

I'm sorry that this is feeling so daunting for you! My best advice is to stop trying. In other words, you don't need a word for something that you don't feel yet fully able to describe, especially something like this where it's not like it's required for anything. You can also stop thinking about wh...

AQ: Thanks so much for saying such lovely things! I really appreciated that. And I hear you, for sure. My life experience is also that the longer romantic or sexual relationships go on, the more they tend to develop friendship aspects (though sometimes that's how those relationships began, so it's a...

Hi there, beena, welcome to the boards. I'm sorry this is why you're here, but I am glad that you are here. It would be very unlikely to be sexually assaulted and not wake up unless you were drugged or otherwise intoxicated. Do you think those things were possibilities? If not, what seems most likel...

Hey there, AQ! I'm just poking my head in to add something a bit to the side of what you're asking, but that I think might also be helpful. Nothing I say is to discount your already excellent observations about your desire for more physical touch in your other relationships, just so you know! I do t...

I hope that this isn't overwhelming, response-wise, but I also want to just drop some support and care around the fact that you find yourself feeling unable to avoid this person because he's your rabbi's son. It's extra awful that your religious community isn't a safety net for you, and seems like b...

Hey there, naurmi. Were you able to read this piece Sam shared near the top of this thread? https://www.scarleteen.com/read/feelings/getting-through-breakup-without-actually-breaking It offers a lot of help with managing your feelings in a breakup. You know, you probably would have been completely o...

Hello there. Before anything else, my first piece of advice would be to look back at a couple of your previous posts here and consider engaging with them. You've asked similar things here before, and a couple folks have started conversations with you about this stuff in those threads that you haven'...

So, we can't sexually assault ourselves, because sexual assault, by definition, is only something one person can do to another. But we can do sexual things to ourselves that we don't feel good about -- at the time or after -- or that may or can be self-harm or part of it, for sure. That PTSD: did th...

So, ultimately in terms of worrying less, you are just going to have to work on letting this go. It is something that happened in the past and, save potentially using a PEP, something you can't do anything about. Self-loathing also isn't going to help you out here. In the wise words of Elsa, let it ...

I forgot to share the link with you that I meant to! I think a read through this will give you a lot of information and support around this: The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone.

Hey there, PomPom. So, there are WAY more orientations and sexual identities than just heterosexual or homosexual, and some others do describe the attractions you are feeling more accurately. For starters, both homosexual and heterosexual people are not always (and I would say rarely, when people ar...

I also just want to put in a reminder here that sex work is real work, and the chosen work of many real people. I'm not sure what you mean when you say that you find the fact that there are prostitutes disappointing, but when you talk about sex workers here, please try and do so in the respectful wa...

Even if it IS selfish, we all not only get to think of and center ourselves in these choices, we 1000% should, if we're going to make them responsibly. No one owes the word children, no one owes the world their body in this regard, and there is no one right thing to do, especially where the actual p...

You don't need to be sorry about it! But I have seen a pattern of you kind of trying to figure out or manage sexual partners or partnerships that don't yet exist, and I gotta tell you, that's just not a sound use of your time or energy. I'd also say it might even make it so that when you do connect ...