Hi Scarleteen, Do you have any resources on sexuality for autistic people? I am reading your articles like "Whoa there how to slow down when you're moving too fast" and "safer sex for the heart" but I'm not sure how to know if I feel like 'sex(ual activity) just happens' How is t...

Hello, I have been talking more with the person I talk about in my other thread. When we talked about what was happening between us, I said I really liked spending time with him and I wanted to keep doing that, and that I wasn't sure what my precise feelings are/what sort of relationship (friendship...

Or, how do I work through this thing where the more attracted I am to somebody the more I force myself to hate them? It's only getting worse as the years go by and I don't want to be like this.

Thanks for all those resources. I've ordered a few of those books but they're not here yet and I'll be seeing this guy again soon and I'm completely baffled as to what to say to him. I don't know how to say that I am attracted to him, or that I might be, or that I want to kiss him except that I'm ab...

I agree with what you're saying for the most part, except that I've never felt safe enough to tell people anything and I've made myself do so and as a result I now have 4 people that I actually like and feel more or less comfortable around. But as I think I said upthread, none of these are legal fam...

I do have access to books and would appreciate a list. I guess it's just confusing, because up until this point I was really wanting to be physically close to this person, and this last time we spent time together I was mostly nervous and uncomfortable because I feel like there are big things they d...

As another example of how I'm confused, we hugged when saying good-bye. And when people talk about hugs, they imply that one should feel something. When I hug my friends, it feels nice. This didn't feel nice, or bad, I didn't feel turned on or off, I just didn't feel anything emotionally and I'm not...

I would say that almost all, if not all, is about the aftermath of abuse and assault. Road maps would be great.

haha well weird needs like not knowing exactly what my needs are, and needing them to ask every time if its ok to put their hand on my shoulder and being ok with me all of a sudden being unable to continue holding hands or whatever. I think my main problem, or what feels like my main problem, is tha...

I would say what you heard was accurate in terms of how I feel, accept that for point 5, I would Not reject somebody for having the past that I do. But I also feel like others would/will reject me. I realize that's not really rational :) For point 4, I think I can, and do, have healthy friendships. ...

Thanks Heather and everybody; sorry it's taken me so long to respond. I've been thinking a lot about what you all said. Heather that makes a lot of sense about attraction being more about curiosity than desire per se. I guess now I just don't know how to listen to my gut. I feel like I shut down and...

Hi Edith, Thanks for your reply. I do feel comfortable talking to my therapist about most things, I just have never felt comfortable talking to one about sexuality. I can think of 6 people I've looked at and felt desire for, since I've been 13. Those include a couple of people I saw once, like at a ...

And I'm sorry if this isn't an appropriate question for your service. I feel like it might be outside the scope of what you do.

Hi, I spent months working really really hard to convince myself I was attracted to my abusive ex. That relationship ended over 5 years ago though and since then I can't tell if I'm attracted to people or not. I feel like I can talk myself into or out of being attracted to anybody. I would say I've ...

Hi Olivia, I think your instincts that this is not ok are spot on. You say that he says he wants to be the only person to make you feel 'that way' but dildos are not people. Or, does he mean that he doesn't even want you to masturbate? Either way, I agree with you that having open conversation is im...

Honestly here's what I'm seeing from what you write. It really sounds like you're taking all the things you're feeling about not being over your ex and projecting that on to him. (And even if he isn't over his ex, why are you allowed to date people to make you forget yours and he is not?) You: say y...

Before my first relationship I had never had any experience with hand holding, kissing, anything physically intimate. I felt good about my sexuality though. I masturbated and was under the impression that it was a good thing that I knew my own body and what felt good and that when/if I had a partner...

Unless that admission of sexual assault came with information about the extensive work he has done with professional help to learn how not to abuse people, I would definitely not date him. Honestly even if it came as part of a conversation that included information on the professional help he has ha...

Some of the things you say he's done would definitely make me feel uncomfortable. 'Getting lost in the moment' and doing things you had already said you weren't comfortable with. Getting annoyed that he 'wasted' a condom because you got interrupted by a security person (would he still feel he 'waste...

That sounds really hard and not fun to deal with. In my experience people can take a long time to unlearn/deal with/process internalized transphobia/homophobia/biphobia/etc. It sounds like your friend may have a lot of internalized something going on with her. But you're right, if she doesn't identi...

Oops, sorry, Heather, I didn't see your reply. I'm not sure it answers my question :) I mean what you said makes sense, but how do you know if you're putting in effort in a healthy way or an unhealthy way. Or that it's not being returned. I'm asking partly for myself and partly for a friend, who I t...

Thanks. I think that makes a lot of sense. Would you say that applies equally to people in 10 year marriages and people in their first relationships in high school?

I know relationships take work; everybody says so. What does this work look like in a healthy relationship vs. in an unhealthy relationship? How does this work differ between a romantic relationship, a friendship, and a parenting relationship?

I'm not sure which forum is the best place for this, so feel free to move it if it's in the wrong spot. I just read the thread about whether to ID as a person with a disability or not, and it's making me think about disability and how I identify. I am 'different' in a number of ways and the only cat...

I had a conversation with a friend recently, in which she said "I hope you know I really trust you, with all this sharing." I freaked out, then realized I was freaking out because in the past I have had somebody tell me that I was the only person they'd ever trusted, and that relationship ...