Need romantic advice

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Duncan_ferren
newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2015 12:11 am
Age: 25
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm caring
Primary language: English
Pronouns: Him
Sexual identity: Strait and male
Location: Beaverton Oregon

Need romantic advice

Unread post by Duncan_ferren »

HI I am new to this so I want some advice, I'm having problems with getting into a relationship, I am a guy and I've never seem to get girls attention all though I am told I am a nice sweet guy...could it be girls aren't romantically attracted to me because I am fat? If anyone has ideas or clues to why this is please tell me,

I am a usually shy guy as well but I love to talk to people I'm just worried I might say something wrong and then the girls dont want to talk to me, does anyone have a clue what I could do to help myself and my confidence and find someone good for me?
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
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Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
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Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Need romantic advice

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Duncan,

The tricky thing about dating is that it so often involves both luck and trial and error. The luck part comes with not having run into a person (or persons) who you want to date and who want to date you. The trial and error comes from the fact that, in most cases, the way you meet those people is by going and doing stuff. Which can be hard if you're shy. So, one thing I can recommend is to find groups or hobbies that involve other people and are things that you enjoy or are interested in. That way, you're meeting new people with whom you have at least one thing in common, so your chances of making friends and finding people who want to date you, go up.

Plus, it can always help to remember that every girl is different. There is no one, single approach or tip that will work for every girl, because we don't all like the same things.

I can also recommend the blog Dr Nerdlove, which is aimed at giving guys advice on dating and self-confidence.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Duncan_ferren
newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2015 12:11 am
Age: 25
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm caring
Primary language: English
Pronouns: Him
Sexual identity: Strait and male
Location: Beaverton Oregon

Re: Need romantic advice

Unread post by Duncan_ferren »

Thanks for the advice
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Need romantic advice

Unread post by Sam W »

You're welcome :)
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Duncan_ferren
newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2015 12:11 am
Age: 25
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm caring
Primary language: English
Pronouns: Him
Sexual identity: Strait and male
Location: Beaverton Oregon

Re: Need romantic advice

Unread post by Duncan_ferren »

What should I look out for if I have a feeling a girl likes me, like what are some signs
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Need romantic advice

Unread post by Sam W »

Again, that's one of those things that's going to vary from person to person. However, some general signs that someone likes you is that seem to enjoy your company and actively seek you out (texting you, initiating hang outs, etc). Really, the best way to find out if a girl you like likes you back is to ask. That can be intimidating for many people, but it's also the most direct path, and while it's stressful in its own way it cuts down on the "BUT DOES SHE?" anxiety that comes with just trying to guess.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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