Is this normal to look like this?

[Berry124]

Hi, I've been confused about my genitals when.I look down there I see all the.normal parts, clitorous, both labia and the urethra but then when I look where my vagina is meant to be I'm confused. Near my anus is a hole which there is white fluid, discharge I'm.assuming this hole.is my vagina entrance and it's the size of a 5p coin. But.then above there's this pink tissue which starts at the middle.of the vaginal entrance covering it up to the top part, and when I tense with my pelvic muscles this tissue opens with a fairly large opening and when.I stop tensing.it.closes. So what is this tissue? Is it the remains of my hymen or something different? It makes me feel confused because I feel like this isn't normal or.is it? Thankyou

[Sam W]

Hi Berry,

Have you had a chance to look at this piece yet to use as a reference when you're looking at your genitals? It might help you figure out what you're seeing: Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More

[Heather]

By the way, you have gotten sexual healthcare in the past, correct? If so, know that when you see a sexual healthcare provider and are having an exam, you can always ask them to give you a mirror and walk you through your own genital anatomy, answering any questions or concerns you have about how "normal" your genitals are. That is something most providers are always happy to do, as patient education is part of their job.

[Berry124]

Yes I've looked at all the anatomy posts but I still don't know if this is a thing or normal :/ . I've never had any exam.on my genitals and I don't get.smear tests until.I'm.in my 20s in the UK. I've been trying to figure out tampons for months this is confusing me, just wondered whether you guys knew or could explain possibly as.I don't understand the anatomy posts much because my body down there doesn't seem.to be like it's described to be. Basically I don't.know how to figure out parts.of my gentals I'm.seeing to the anatomy. I.understand the clitorous and labia bit but yh :/

[Jacob]

Hey Berry!

Sorry to hear its all worrying you so much!

The thing is, even with your description we can only guess what each part of your anatomy is which you describe because everyone is different and those descriptions will vary from person to person, so we could get it completely wrong.

The rule with most 'am I normal' questions are that there is no normal, we are all different. And being comfortable is less about being 'normal' than it is getting to know your body.

In the UK you can totally request an appointment with your GP to ask about this (to either examine you or to refer you to someone you'd be more comfortable with), so is that something you've attempted?

[Berry124]

Yeah I'm trying to explain as well as I can but I'm not very good at explaining via message. No I haven't I don't feel comfortable for someone other than myself or my partner to look there and the doctors I prefer because of patient preference are male :/ I just wondered if what I described was included on the anatomy post because I'm not sure. I understand there could be variation. Just wonder what it is because I see the opening at the bottom them.it is there above and opens and closes when I tense and relax my pelvic floor muscles. I thought if I could understand it then I'd be able to understand which I had to.put a tampon into but so far it seems the bottom is accessible "as odd as that sounds, and the other which bothers me isn't it just stays close unless.I push like you would when weeing (sorry for too.much information, just struggling to explain)

I have so many questions in my head about anatomy like I don't see how you could ever be able to have Intercourse when you can't even use tampons or fit them or whatever, like it's confusing for a teenage girl especially when I've never looked at another vulva before and don't want to just because I don't. Ah I'm confused ha

[Heather]

I really hope that you didn't just suggest that doctors who aren't men can't be good doctors. If so, know that isn't at all true, that's nothing but total sexism. Doctors can be great -- or crap, or anywhere in between -- and that has nothing to do with their gender.

Again, I'd advise that you go ahead and ask to see a doctor for an exam and this education, and you ask for whatever gender you want, if you have preferences (even if those preferences may be based in bias, alas).

But if you won't do that, then the best we have to offer you here are the resources that have already been offered to you that explain this anatomy in detail and with diagrams. We can't somehow know exactly what you're talking about with your anatomy otherwise with such vague terms like "at the bottom." We just can't.

[Berry124]

Sorry what I meant was all the doctors who I like due to patient preference are male and.I wouldn't be comfortable with them examining my genitals.

[Heather]

Well then you appear to stand at an impasse. You can either give a doctor who isn't a man a try (and I'm sure you haven't met all doctors who are women to know if you like them or not), go ahead and learn to get comfortable with a male doctor examining your genitals if you won't give a doctor who is a woman a chance, or just not do what you can to find out about your genitals from the right person to get this information from who can see you in person to know.