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My boyfriend isn't coming

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junojagger
not a newbie
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:10 pm
Age: 26
Awesomeness Quotient: My sense of humour
Primary language: Portuguese
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: Straight
Location: Brazil

My boyfriend isn't coming

Unread post by junojagger »

so, i've been dating this guy for about a month now and we both like each other very much.
I was a virgin when I first started going out with him and I didn't want to have sex right away and I told him so, so whenever we fooled around I would do hand and blow jobs on him but he never orgasmed.
So I thought that maybe when we had sex he might of but no luck. We had sex for the first time less then a week ago and we already have had it about 6 times after, but he never came/orgasmed.
i didnt say anything and sort of pretended i didnt even notice but i can feel its bothering him and I would like to know if theres anything I could do to help him get THERE...
i know i shouldnt take this on the personal note but i cant help but wonder if it has something to do with the fact that i was a virgin? like if im doing something wrong or turning him off in some way?
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: My boyfriend isn't coming

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Junojagger,

The first big thing you can do is to talk to your boyfriend about his feelings on this. Ideally, this would be part of a bigger conversation you two have about desires and limits around sex. So, talking about what feels good, what you'd like to avoid, and what types of things you two might try to help him orgasm. These two pieces might really help with that:
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist

One or both people being inexperienced can sometimes make sex a little awkward, but it's not causing him to not orgasm. Too, not matter what level of sexual experience someone has, what feels good and what's a turn on will vary from partner to partner (or from day today). That's why it is a great idea to focus on communicating with each other around sex.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
junojagger
not a newbie
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:10 pm
Age: 26
Awesomeness Quotient: My sense of humour
Primary language: Portuguese
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: Straight
Location: Brazil

Re: My boyfriend isn't coming

Unread post by junojagger »

Thank you for your reply and advice, Sam! I'll read the articles you sent me and will try to have this talk with him.
Again, thanks for your calming words.
Cheers!
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