Advice for when being kind to yourself is hard

When you want support through something scary or rough, and help pulling yourself together and getting through, this is the place.
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Users often report that they have no in-person peers they can talk to or seek support from: we want this to be a space for online peer support and somewhere everyone can get some practice asking for, getting and giving support so that doing it with people in your lives feels more doable.

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Sam W
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Advice for when being kind to yourself is hard

Unread post by Sam W »

I thought it would be helpful to have a thread where we could share tricks that we've learned for those days when, for whatever reason, you find it hard to be kind or gentle with yourself (giant caveat: this is not meant to substitute for something like seeing a counselor).

One I find that works that surprised me was to think of myself as an animal (I;ve also heard people use "toddler" or best friend). The cutest, most deserving of love animal I can think of. I imagine that animal is feeling the way I'm feeling (scared, hungry, cold, sad) then think of what I would do for it. I find that doing that somehow disrupts the "you are unworthy and deserve to feel only bad things" thoughts when they pop up.

How about y'all?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
doglover
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Re: Advice for when being kind to yourself is hard

Unread post by doglover »

Affirmations can help. An affirmation is when stating to yourself something good about you. They are often most helpful in the form of an "I" statement. For example, "I am a creative and artistic person" or "I am caring and good at helping other people through tough times." These can be helpful since you are reassuring, and finding, good things about yourself that you may not always recognize. It might feel a little odd at first.
Ashleah
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Re: Advice for when being kind to yourself is hard

Unread post by Ashleah »

Similar to doglover I use affirmations, but I write them down. This isn't something I would typical talk to someone about but still feel the need to get it out. Writing allows me to do that. First I give myself a bit of time to write out what has me feeling crappy. Then I write my affirmations as well as a sort of action plan for what I can in will do if I find myself in a mood with myself again. Having it written down also allows me to go back and see those things, and often time progress.
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