is my clit weird?

[MNHAPPY]

When my boyfriend gives me oral sex nothing happens... I try so hard and concentrate which doesn't seem like it is working... and when I masturbate i use a vibrator. Is that's what making me "not as sensitive"

[Heather]

So, there are a couple things to keep in mind about this.

One biggie is that when people *try* to get or stay turned on, or try to make orgasm happening, that's called "spectator ink" and it's pretty much the surest way to make sure you really don't enjoy yourself and/or reach orgasm. Instead, you want to just go with what does feel good to you, and communicate that to a partner. So, for instance, if oral sex isn't doing it for you, you let your partner know that, and you try other things that do feel good. For example, since you know you like using a vibrator, you can share that with your partner and use it with them or give it to them to use on your body.

Too, you want to focus on if you're super turned-on when things are happening. Are you excited about oral sex before it even starts? Are you at all excited when it is happening? If not, what do you think is up there? Is it about you just not feeling oral sex (which it sounds like) and being excited about *other* things you do with your partner, or is this happening with any kind of sex with this partner?

It also sounds like you have the idea you have to like this kind of sex: you don't. What people do and don't like varies a whole lot, and there's no way of being sexual everyone likes, just like there's no one food everyone likes. It may be you just aren't feeling this now, or with with partner, and might later, or with a different partner. Or, it may be oral sex just isn't your cup of tea. Either way, it's okay. What you want to do is figure out what you DO like and go with that rather than trying to conform to what you think you *should* like or a partner wants. Make sense?

[MNHAPPY]

Thank you so much, I'll take all this into consideration!! I guess what I do is think that I will go into oral sex expecting it to be something Magical when I don't enjoy it. I will try new things!

[Heather]

Alas, sex can be awesome, but it rarely resembles magic.

[LaurenBacall]

From my personal experience, it's very easy for me to get off when a guy is using his fingers, but I have almost NEVER gotten off from oral sex alone, no matter what. I think it's the stronger pressure from fingers that tongues just can't replicate. There's no rulebook that says you have to get off from oral, so if you like using the vibrator, you can also give it to your partner and have then use it on you. Then they get to participate and you get to have fun.

[MNHAPPY]

Thank you guys! This helps a lot and I finally let him use a toy on me