Update on 'friend'

[ocean99]

So awhile ago I said that I thought this one girl looked cool & I wanted to reach out and be a friend/hang with her. I've hung out with her at her house once, but that's only because she wanted to photograph me & a friend of hers for a photojournalism assignment she had. I see her in the halls at school at times, sometimes I'll wave at her and other times we just walk past each other. I really like her and all but I feel like I'm just a person in the background when it comes to her. Don't get me wrong, she'll come up to me and talk to me at times. And I know she has other friends, I do too, but I feel like I don't 'measure' up to her, if that makes sense at all. We still don't know each other very well, I've only been talking to her for the past 3 and half months. She has boundaries that I for sure do not want to cross. Also sometimes I think to myself 'I'm not gonna message her anymore or talk to her' but then that doesn't last very long and I talk/message her anyway. I know that we can't all be friends-friends with everybody and that we can't force it. How do I not dwell on this and waste time on her?

[Sam W]

HI lomiedahomie,

Thanks for the update When you interact with this person, how does she seem to respond to you? Do you get the sense that she enjoys your company and seeks it out?

There are a few different directions you could take this. If you're content being acquaintance-friends, there's no reason you couldn't continue as you are and see if/how the relationship develops. If you'd rather dial back your interactions, you could gradually decrease the amount of contact you two have. Or, if you feel like she does enjoy spending time with you, you could ask her on a "friend date." In other words, asking her to hang out so you two can interact more.