Is there a way to tell if a condom breaks?

[Jellowl]

Hello!

Just like the title says, I was wondering if there was a way to tell if or when a condom breaks during intercourse. Is there a sound you may hear, like a snap as it breaks? Would either the giver or the reciever be able to feel it break? I was wondering since I may have intercourse for the first time this week so I'd like to be prepared if a break were to happen.

Thank you in advance,
Have a lovely Thanksgiving! (for those in America)

[Heather]

There's nothing anyone will hear, and most times, no one is going to feel it either. For as much as you hear some people say they can't feel anything with condoms on, one big giveaway that that's not realistic is that most folks wearing them won't feel them break or slip off, and the same goes for the receptive partner.

When used properly, only around one in every 2,000 condoms break: breaks with proper use are actually very, very uncommon. Slips are a little more common than that, but again, proper use -- and the wearer being sure they're not wearing one that doesn't fit them -- makes that unlikely, too.

Are you using a condom alone? If so, do you feel pretty good about that? If not, have you and your partner looked up and talked about how to use them properly? That's important, period, but it also often helps people feel more confident about condoms.

[Jellowl]

Thank you for the answer!

And to answer your question, we have talked about how to properly use a condom and have looked up guides countless times on how to do so. My boyfriend has even practiced putting one on in his own spare time. Condoms are the only safe sex method we are using and I feel pretty okay with that.

However, I do feel nervous about having intercourse for the first time. When I'm alone, I keep worrying about any possible bad outcome that could happen. I fear the condom breaking, I fear unwanted pregnancy, I fear the possibility of feeling pain and I'm really scared of becoming a different person once I lose my virginity. I am a VERY nervous overthinker by nature. I can't tell if this is me overthinking things and having the first time jitters or something I'm not ready for.

But when I'm with my boyfriend, I feel safe and like I'm doing the right thing. When we talk about how to be safe together (like how we are using condoms, how I can stop at anytime if there is a problem, how if I need more time that's fine) and how we will be there for eachother after, talking our new found feelings out, I feel secure. When I am with him, I feel confident with my choice. It's not a 'I feel sexully aroused around him and want sex' kind of mood, it's a 'he makes me feel safe and confident no matter what' kind of mood if that makes sense.

As an added note, I have read up on multiple things to prepare me for sex. I bought the condoms for us, lube and I do have a way of getting emergency contraception if I need it. I've taken so many steps to prepare myself and make it safe for my partner as well that I do feel prepared. I just can't tell if it's the first time fear or if it's something I'm not quite ready for.

If you could lend me some advice on my feelings and hopefully help sort them out, that'd be really great.

Thank you, have a lovely day

[Sam W]

It sounds like you've been really careful in preparing for this, which is awesome! I will say that if you're feeling scared about some of those risks, that could be a sign to hold off for a little while until you work out what other things would need to be in place for those fears to diminish. For instance, if pain is a concern, it can help to talk yourself through what would happen if it's painful (stopping, adding more lube, taking a break for more foreplay), and if that process is something you feel prepared to deal with. Does that make sense?

[Jellowl]

Well, I decided to have sex and I will admit that my nerves were beyond jittery. But everything worked out great which is a huge weight off my shoulders

The pain I thought I'd feel was non-existing; literally nothing hurt. We used a condom and it didnt break, so another plus. My boyfriend was also very supportive, asking me if eveything was alright and if I was still comfortable with intercourse.

I'd like to take the time to thank you for the advice and answers you guys gave me. I really appreciate it, thank you so much. You guys keep up the amazing work here at Scarleteen!

[Jacob]

I'm so happy you had a good experience Jellowl! Hooray!! *fireworks* *applause* *orchestra*