No feeling

[Badmadd]

Hi. I got into my first relationship two years ago and we have started having sex as of last summer. I don't feel anything... Even when I'm really aroused and into it, but once it starts to happen it just, happens. I feel nothing there and even when I'm really really into it, it will hurt. A sharp pain if he goes deep or in most other positions. He can just simply poke me and it sends a sharp horrible pain threw me.

I'm in art college and I'm in school from 8:30am to 10pm every day even the weekends because it's heard and stressful. All this meaning, it's really heard for me to see a doctor about this issue. I'm also new in this town and I have no idea where to go.

Thank you for your time and if you could help. I really do love my man (I am a woman) and I am sexually active to him. I just have no idea what is wrong with me.

Thank you again

Madd

[Danny S.]

Hi Madd,
Here's an article that could help you figure out what's going on: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/gende ... ntercourse
Can I ask, have you tried using lube? The answer to your problem could be as simple as that! However, I would encourage you to read the article I linked to above, as it lists lots of different possible causes for painful sex and ways to go about handling them.
As for your situation with school, that sounds really stressful! Would it help if we could refer you to a healthcare provider in your area?

[Badmadd]

Thank you for responding.

Yes we have used lube and it still doesn't seem to work. The pain is inside of me.
Thank you for your offer, but I have been told that second semester won't be as stressful and I will actually have free time! I'm excited for that and still lots of hard work.

Thank you for your care and support.

[Onionpie]

Hi Badmadd, welcome to Scarleteen! First of all, there is nothing wrong with you at all; this is a pretty common experience that people have, and everyone's bodies respond to things differently anyway -- there is no "right" or "wrong." But, with some digging I hope that we will be able to help you find a way to make your sex life more enjoyable for you! I have a few questions to start off.

Do you, or have you in the past, masturbated -- and if so, do/did you experience pain and lack of sensitivity at all with that? Have you two, or by yourself, tried exploring sex involving insertion of things other than his penis -- ie fingers, toys, etc? How did that go? And what about insertion of tampons; is that something you have done, and was/is that painful at all for you?

It sounds like you have a really heavy and stressful workload right now. Have you always experienced pain with intercourse, ie. even last summer when you started? Also, how long have you been in school for -- have you been experiencing this heavy course-load the whole time you've been sexually active? Stress can often really impact people's sexual response and desires, so it's possible that stress from school is playing a part in this.

Okay, I have only a few more questions! When you're having sex and you feel pain, what happens next? Do you both stop immediately and move onto something else? Do you keep trying intercourse? How does your partner respond when you tell him you're in pain?

I know that's a lot to answer! But it'll help us get a good sense of what's going on, so we can get to the bottom of this.

[Badmadd]

Hi and thank you for helping!

I have masturbated in the past way before him, but I have never put anything up there (I also don't use tampons, but when I have they never hurt like this they just feel uncomfortable.) I have done it now by myself put a toy up there and I have noticed that there is a spot that when poked it just really hurts, my partner has pointed it out to that he feels something weird there.

I have always felt it and sometimes a different position is good one day and is the worst thing the next time. It's weird and it has just put me off of sex and I think the pain is getting worse. At times I think I have appendicitis on a daily basis. I think my partner is more concerned for me then I am. He is always asking questions like, "is this okay?, are you okay?, does here hurt you?." All the stuff and it is a subject that does come up a lot. Sometimes I do have to quit, but other times I just try to get more turned on and try to forget about it. Other times I'm completely fine until we switch the position to something like my legs on his shoulder just kills me now.

I've tried looking things up on my spare time, but I can never find an answer.

Thank you for your help.

[Badmadd]

He really doesn't like hurting me and he will make it stop if it's not working

[Heather]

Since you seem to be describing pain that occurs in various places with your body, rather than just genitally, have you ever talked to a general doctor about all of this pain? If not, I'd suggest that as one important starting place.

[Badmadd]

I have never, but hopefully In the next few months I can locate one and even schedule time for one.

[Heather]

I'd see what you can't do to get in there sooner than within a few months, just because unexplained pain across the body (or heck, anywhere), sure isn't fun. It's also always a good idea to be cautious with unexplained pain and hop on healthcare when you can to make sure you don't do anything that could make anything worse.

[Badmadd]

Yes and thank you for caring. I do live in Canada so healrh care is good and I do have a basic school Union coverage. I'll try my best to see what I can do.