Things are looking like they might turn into a relationship, how can I make sure it's a healthy one?
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- volunteer in training
- Posts: 133
- Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:27 am
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do improv as often as possible.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Canada
Things are looking like they might turn into a relationship, how can I make sure it's a healthy one?
Hello everyone!
Those of you who have been around since the old boards might remember that I had one particularly unhealthy relationship in which my boyfriend became emotionally dependent on me. Since then I've had one major relationship, which quite frankly was ill-advised because of a major language barrier that meant we couldn't communicate properly.
Now I find myself in a rather wonderful situation where a new friendship might be heading in the direction of a relationship. Before I even let myself ask her out or tell her how I feel, however, I want to make sure that I don't get into another emotionally dependent or otherwise unhealthy relationship.
But I just don't know what I need to do (or avoid) to ensure that the relationship with S, whatever it turns out to be, stays healthy.
I don't even know where to start with what to tell you.
Those of you who have been around since the old boards might remember that I had one particularly unhealthy relationship in which my boyfriend became emotionally dependent on me. Since then I've had one major relationship, which quite frankly was ill-advised because of a major language barrier that meant we couldn't communicate properly.
Now I find myself in a rather wonderful situation where a new friendship might be heading in the direction of a relationship. Before I even let myself ask her out or tell her how I feel, however, I want to make sure that I don't get into another emotionally dependent or otherwise unhealthy relationship.
But I just don't know what I need to do (or avoid) to ensure that the relationship with S, whatever it turns out to be, stays healthy.
I don't even know where to start with what to tell you.
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- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: Things are looking like they might turn into a relationship, how can I make sure it's a healthy one?
HI Moonlight,
Glad to hear you're having pleasant feelings about this relationship. In terms of how to build a healthy relationship. there are a few articles that might be really helpful:
Hello, Sailor! How to Build, Board and Navigate a Healthy Relationship
Supermodel: Creating & Nurturing Your Own Best Relationship Models
There's also these articles, which are great for checking up on a relationship:
Potholes & Dead Ends: Relationship Roadblocks to Look Out For
Does Your Relationship Need a Checkup?
It's worth noting that even with all those resources, a relationship could still have some issues or become toxic. But being deliberate about building a healthy relationship is still a really great baseline to set.
Glad to hear you're having pleasant feelings about this relationship. In terms of how to build a healthy relationship. there are a few articles that might be really helpful:
Hello, Sailor! How to Build, Board and Navigate a Healthy Relationship
Supermodel: Creating & Nurturing Your Own Best Relationship Models
There's also these articles, which are great for checking up on a relationship:
Potholes & Dead Ends: Relationship Roadblocks to Look Out For
Does Your Relationship Need a Checkup?
It's worth noting that even with all those resources, a relationship could still have some issues or become toxic. But being deliberate about building a healthy relationship is still a really great baseline to set.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
-
- volunteer in training
- Posts: 133
- Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:27 am
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do improv as often as possible.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Canada
Re: Things are looking like they might turn into a relationship, how can I make sure it's a healthy one?
Thanks for all the articles Sam, I'll take a look.
-
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: Things are looking like they might turn into a relationship, how can I make sure it's a healthy one?
You're welcome!
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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