Fast forward to now and I am faced with a new problem. I think I might actually be a lesbian. I am positive I feel sexual and romantic attraction towards women. They're just so soft and sweet and ahhhh! But with guys it's different. I see when a guy is attractive. I feel flattered and blushy when a guy shows interest/ flirts with me. But I just don't seem to want to date/ have sex with guys. I have crushes on celebrity guys but I don't like the idea of you know... being with them. But celebrity girls?? Ooooh boy, I fantasise a LOT (Especially Dodie Clark).
Looking back in the past there have always been hints I guess? For example, I dated this one guy for less than a week before having to break it off because I couldn't do it. Not 'it' as in sex. But 'it' as in be with him. It didn't feel right. And another boyfriend (Who is now one of my best friends and gay ha) who tried to kiss me and I responded by slapping him in the face! But my first girlfriend, I was with for 8 months. My longest relationship. I loved her and I was broken for weeks when she broke up with me. I've even found myself calling myself a lesbian randomly. And getting really uncomfortable when people say I'm bisexual, because it doesn't seem to fit.
I guess what I'm looking for is an answer?? Someone who maybe has experience or just for someone to give their opinion on who I am. I understand I can't expect people to label me for me. I don't want that. But I just want... help. Because this has been eating away and destroying me. It should be so easy but it's not and I just want to be able to say what I am and feel relief.
