No feeling during penetration.

[Dzuncio]

Hi, I am 29 and have had 4 partners. My problem is that I don’t feel anything during penetration. I enjoy the foreplay part and can orgasm though manual clitoris stimulation (by myself) but I have no sensation during penetration. It’s just like smthing going in and out of me. I feel more pleasure through vibrator although being with my bf is another fun. I haven’t told my bf about this and I dont want to coz it will change the way he thinks about sex with me. Sex has become better for me over the years but Its just that intercourse seems to be the main activity and I cant enjoy that.I have tried to accept that my vagina probably doesnt have any nerve endings but I just feel so sorry for myself. What do I do about this? Is there a way to change this?

[Sam W]

Hi Dzuncio,

What you're experiencing is actually quite common. Plenty of people find that vaginal intercourse alone doesn't feel particularly interesting or pleasurable, and instead find that their clitoris is the main source of pleasure in their genitals (or that a vibrator adds enough sensations when inserted into the vaginal canal that it feels good).

There is a way to change this situation, but it involves talking to your boyfriend. You and he need to have an honest conversation about what feels good (and not so good) to each of you and then practice asking for what feels good when you're being sexual together. I know you said you don't want to have this conversation, but this is the most effective way to make partnered sex be pleasurable for you. We have tools for having this conversation in these two articles:
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist
Too, if your boyfriend is a good partner, he'll want to know what actually feels good to you so that sex is enjoyable for everyone. Does that make sense?