It doesn’t feel bad but idk if it feels good?

[Charismakween]

Hey! I’m new here! I’ve tried masturbating since I was 11(I’m 18 now) and it’s just never worked for me. I tried inserting things and it just never really did anything for me. I would feel like peeing when I inserted things so I would just stop. I read a lot of porn and it gets me very aroused but when I try touching myself down there it just ruins it but if I squeeze my legs tightly it feels good! I’ve only came a couple of times and mostly from reading porn. When I insert fingers or a brush it feels very tight and uncomfortable however there’s this brush that when I insert it, it doesn’t feel bad but I can’t tell if it feels good??? It just feels different??? Also I get like no stimulation from my clitoris(tbh until a month ago or so I bought I didn’t have one).
Sorry this is so long. Do any of you guys have any tips or feedback?? Please and thank you!!!

[Alice O]

Hey Charismakween,

Welcome to the boards Your post was not too long at all! That's what we're here for.

There are a bunch of things you brought up that I want to respond to First, one of the main ways that people with vulvas/vaginas masturbate is by stimulating their clitoris. Most people with vulvas need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm, only 10% or 20% (I've seen different statistics) of people can orgasm solely from vaginal insertion. This is partially because the clitoris has FAR more nerve endings than the vagina, even more than any other part of the body! So hopefully that helps explain why you weren't always experiencing much, if any, pleasure when inserting things inside your vagina. (Also, for vaginal insertion to feel good, it's important that one is very aroused and relaxed, which is not always the case when we are first experimenting with our bodies in masturbation.)

You said that you get "no stimulation" from your clitoris, but actually when you are squeezing your legs tightly much of what is giving you pleasure is your clitoris! What we think of when we think of the clitoris (what we can see on our bodies) is actually just the glans of the clitoris. It is a much larger structure that also is within the outer labia and surrounds the lower portion of the vaginal canal. You can get a visual here (as well as learning more important information about your anatomy): Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More. Also here's a bit more about different ways that people masturbate: How Do You Masturbate?

It sounds like overall you have found things that make you feel really aroused, have found an activity that gives you pleasure, and have reached orgasm multiple times. That's all great! What is that you are looking for moving forward? More activities that bring you pleasure? Reaching orgasm more often? Something different? Let us know and we can go from there!

[Charismakween]

Thank you so much for your reply!

I guess what I want is to orgasm more ? Idk when a lot of my friends tell me about masturbating they describe it as a really great feeling and I don’t think I’ve had that yet. Hopefully I’ll get it soon!

[Sam W]

Okay! Really, when it comes to masturbation the way to find what works for you is to continue to experiment with different ways of masturbating. It sounds like you've tried a few techniques, and this article has even more examples of ways people masturbate: How Do You Masturbate? . Some people also find that introducing sex toys into their masturbation routine helps create sensations that give them a lot of enjoyment, so if that's something you're interested in trying we can talk about how to do that.

Too, it can be tricky to try and gauge how your own sexual response compares to the sexual responses of your friends. For instance, they could be feeling about the same thing you do, but describing it differently. Or, maybe some of them are also having a hard time finding a masturbation approach that works for them but feel like they can't admit that. So it can sometimes help to focus less on how you think your experiences compare to theirs and more on how they line up with your own desires and expectations. Does that make sense?