Need Help to find peace of mind

[Alex From EU]

I recently (3 days ago) had sex with an Escourt (basically a prostitute) from amsterdam. I know how stupid this all is, and it was one of the biggest mistakes i have ever made. I am now worried that i might have cought some kind of STD.

Here is exactly what happened:
I shaved before we had sex, and i had a few small spots where i had mini cuts with tiny blood drops coming out (not like long cuts but just small red dots where a hair used to be).

She at first touched my Penis a little and then proceeded to put on a condom. She then first gave me a blow job and then proceeded to have vaginal intercourse with me (also with the condom). After a while she wanted to remove the condom to "finish the job" by hand and almost pulled it off all the way. I told her i wanted to have more vaginal intercourse so she put it back on where some of the outside of the condom has probably touched the front part of my penis a little bit and therefor some of her vaginal fluids and the lube from the outside may have gotten inside the condom (only a small ammount). We they had some more vaginal intercourse before she actually pulled the condom off and finished the job by hand. She also touched her vagina and the outside of the condom with the same hand earlier. It should also be said that i have played with her vagina with my hand a littlebit and therefor also had some on her vaginal fluids on my fingers.

After all this was over she left and i washed my penis with some water from the sink before i proceeded to take a long shower trying to "get clean" from what ever i might have been in contact with. I also used about 10 disinfection wipes on my hands, penis and the shaved skin around the penis (which actually burnt, so there must have been a few small wounds from shaving). From what i can remember, the shaved area (with the small wounds) did not get into strong contact with her vagina or and of her fluids, but the condom has touched that area during intercourse, since, well, also a penis is affected by gravity and therefore sometimes fell onto that skin.

I asked the escourt after all this happened if she gets tested sonetimes, and she said she takes an std test once every month. She was about 25 and told me she did this job since she has been 18. Also i couldnt spot and rashes or other symptomes on her body that would make me suspect she might be infected.

Another thing i would like to mention is, that i have a slight cold since this happened, which i also felt before this encounter though. It just got a bit stronger, so now i have a sore throat and a bit more slime in my nasal system)

(I am sorry for the extremely long post, but im starting to get really scared and freaked out by this. I hope this description wasnt to straight forward, but i want to make sure that as much information in gives as possible.)

My Questions are:
1) Would you say I am at risk of an HIV infection?
2) Would u say I am at risk of an HPV infection? (Especially the dangerous types like 16 and 18)
3) What other STDs could i have cought from this encounter and how likely is it?
4) Is it true, that HIV cannot be transfered from person to person via the intact pink-ish tip of the penis (not sure of the medically correct term here) but only when it gets INSIDE the urine hole infront of the penis since the membrane that lets it through is INSIDE the penis?
5) I am planing to take a HIV home test in 12 weeks. Is this enough, or should i get tested for any other STDs that can get very dangerous if left untreated? (If so, which ones?)
6) From what point in time is a person infected with HIV contageous?

I know that you cannot possibly give me a 100% accurate answer just from my description, yet i would really appreciate your professional most honest assessment of the situaton.
Thanks a lot in advance!

[Heather]

One thing I think it's important to know is that sex workers usually do a much better job at managing their sexual health than people who are NOT doing sex work. So, honestly, there is LESS reason to worry about picking up an infection from your average sex worker than there is your average non-sex worker. The idea it was stupid to have sex with a sex worker because you would have been taking giant health risks you wouldn't have with someone who wasn't a sex worker is based in stigma and ignorance about sex workers and sexual health, not reality.

That said: anytime you do sexual things, with anyone, that carry a risk of any STIs, there will be some risk. There are risks of various STIs with both oral sex and vaginal intercourse (which is where HIV risks come in), no matter who you do those things with. Those activities also present possible HPV risks, yes. If and when you use condoms for those activities, you reduce those risks. To find out what activities pose risks of which STIs, and how high those risks are, see here: Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?

If you're a sexually active person, you should get regularly tested for STIs no matter who your partners are, so if you don't already do that once a year (and potentially more often than that if you have more than one partner in a year), then by all means, you'll want to start.

[Alex From EU]

Thanks a lot Heather, that is actually a good Point that i have not thought of yet. Would you estimate, from what i described above, that the situaltion in gerneral was a high risk, medium risk or low risk situation? I will take the HIV home test anyways and i will get a full test some time around then aswell, just to be sure. I might want to add, that this one one of my first ever sexual experiences, thus i have never been tested from what i know.

[Heather]

Do I have it right that you had both protected intercourse and protected oral sex but only unprotected manual sex (the handjob)? If so, then your risks of STIs for those activities were probably about as low as they get while still doing those things. It's barrier use and people getting STI testing (and treatment if and when anything shows up) that reduces risks, so if I have that right, your risks have likely been low here.

[Alex From EU]

Yes, only the handjob was unprotected. The part im scared about more are the little wounds from shaving and the fact, that i touched her vagina and therefor had of vaginal fluids on my fingers, which i later used to clean my penis. Would u say im overreacting here? (I prettymuch didnt have a single thought not related to this since it happened.)

[Heather]

I'm willing to bet, honestly, you wouldn't be freaking like this if this hadn't been a sex worker, so I think that probably this is something coming more from stigma than from anything else. I think that the best way to calm yourself down here is to remind yourself that it's probably bias (against a very marginalized and vulnerable group of people, no less) that has you in this headspace and that that bias is not a source of sound information.

But ultimately, I'd keep my assessment as it stands now, and ultimately there also isn't anything you can do about this now. You engaged in the sex you did in the ways you did. I certainly don't personally see a need for an HIV post-exposure treatment, but if you wanted to consider that, you could call or see a healthcare provider to discuss it. But that's the only post-anything you could use, so again, there's really nothing to be done here but go ahead and start testing like any sexually active person should soon, and then, if you want to stay low-risk with STIs, just keep up with your testing and safer sex practices with any sex from here on out. Okay?

[Alex From EU]

Yes, i think this is some good advise! Thanks for doing what you do on this forum. It really does help a LOTTT!!!

[Heather]

Glad to be of help, and also thanks for what sounds like rethinking sex worker stigma. It really does an awful lot of people an awful lot of harm, so anytime someone dumps it, it's a very important drop in the bucket to improve the lives of people who do sex work.