sexual assault

[haley690]

this happened about almost a year ago when i was 18 with a friend i have dated in the past. when we hung out well he started touching me places and fingering me and would physically force my head down to get his penis in my mouth. i did try and get my head up but of course he was too strong.
I never really said no because i was high cause we smoked before. and it was at a movie theater and i didn’t want to make a scene.I was so uncomfortable. I just feel so sad and taken advantage of. is this sexual assault or rape ?

[Jacob]

Hi Haley,

This was absolutely an assault and I'm so very sorry it happened. It doesn't matter that you didn't say no. It was clear you weren't interested and you certainly didn't say yes. This means that he did not check that you were consenting. Forcing someone to do something without their consent is assault.

I didn't want to leave this here without a response but I know from our conversation in chat that you'd like more staff to contribute here, so I'm going to keep this open to them.

[Heather]

Hey there, Haley.

Like Jacob said, I agree, you're very clearly describing a sexual assault here. The fact that you didn't say no -- consent is about saying yes, not a lack of no -- and you were high with this person (something that only makes this more of an abuse on his part, all the more so if he was the one who got you high in the first place, especially if he was an adult and you were a minor -- doesn't make this not assault.

Where do you want to take this from here: how about talking some more about your feelings of betrayal, sadness and feeling taken advantage of?