Is my boyfriend cheating

[Pineapple queen]

My boyfriend quite frequently had to go away for a bit and i keep having these terrible dreams that hes cheating on me. Im unsure of what i should do hes not talking to anyone and keeps coming up with excuses of why he cant talk and i really dont know if they are true or not. I am also friends with some of his mates and they also think its kinda strange please help

[Alexa]

Hey Pineapple Queen,

I'm sorry for the stress you're experiencing right now in this relationship. The thing that is standing out to me most here is that there seems to be a lack of trust between you. That is true whether he is cheating or not - at the end of the day, you have difficulty trusting what he says he is up to, so much so that you are even dreaming about your concerns. Trust is key for a healthy relationship of any kind.

Could you tell me a little bit more about what has led you to this lack of trust in your relationship? That might bring us closer to the root of the problem.

[Pineapple queen]

Ive always had trust issues due to family issues from when i was a child and i do trust him just ive been cheated on before and since no one had really heard from him its making me second guess what hes doing up there and what mayhem he’s causing ( he is a very cheaky boy). He is a pretty honest boy but my his mates said he also is a person who can keep a secret and you would never know. Its a mix of what ive heard,past experiences and my trust issues. Its all so frustrating because i rly love him and he rly likes me (well i think he does) hes also a rly nice person but i just dont want to be cheated on again.

[Pineapple queen]

Im friends with most of his mates and they keep telling me that hes good at keeping a secret. My boyfriend is a lovely boy and trust me and i trust him but i have really bad trust issues (caused by family issues) it took alot of effort to trust him but i love him so much but after he had to leave with the dreams and stuff its just started messing with my head. Ive been cheated on before and i guess im just terrified that hes going to cheat on me,we have a very open relationship not many secrets but for some reason i have this feeling he is hiding something from me and that hes doing something else up there. We are both very young me being 14 and him being 13 but we are best of friends and we love each other very much.

[Heather]

You know, unfortunately, a lot of people around this age, when a relationship is part of a larger social group, tend to be better at whipping up drama then helping to support a relationship. It takes emotional maturity to be supportive instead of causing trouble, and as I'm sure you know, that's something a lot of people, especially young dudes, this age just don't have. I'd ask those friends to stop talking with you about him if you feel able: it just doesn't sound like that's doing you any good.

It is pretty hard for people to be in exclusive relationships for long at the age you are: romantic relationships at this age just don't tend to last for very long for anyone, which might be part of why whatever happened in your last relationship did. We can talk more about that if you want, especially because that can obviously be doubly scary when you're feeling like you are, and it might be something to think about and make sure that dating right now is really right for you.

But if you and this guy have made an agreement about this -- if you have agreed to be exclusive in whatever ways you have -- then it's fair for you to expect him to honor that agreement.

It sounds to me like the best person for you to talk about this to is him. How are you talking with him while he's away? Can you tell him that you're having a very hard time with something and ask him to make some time to talk with you about it?