Uncomfortable experience/pain

[annabanane123]

Hi! This is my first post thing here, I’m kinda nervous. I’m in my early 20s and I’ve only been intimate with my ex boyfriend (last year). We had sex a few times, but since I was totally inexperienced in the beginning and he was, we went very slow. So that way we sort of lead up to sex, and I wasn’t insecure about being naked in front of him or anything like that. But the sex was actually uncomfortable? The first time hurt a lot. The two other times didn’t have pain exactly but I could almost feel like poking in my cervix, which I didn’t like. No matter how gentle he was it uncomfortable. Could it be I wasn’t lubricated enough? He was on the bigger side as well. And when I try to masturbate myself, I feel absolutely nothing if I try penetration. Only right at the opening! The rest does not give me any good sensation. Is there something wrong with me?

[Sam W]

Hi annabanane123,

So, as far as not feeling much during insertion of your fingers or a penis is really common. The vaginal canal isn't all that sensitive, especially past the first third, which is why most people with vaginas need stimulation of the first third or the outer genitals to feel pleasure.

With the discomfort, a lack of lubrication could be a major factor, since lubrication helps sex feel better. Were you using extra lube, or just the lube your body produced? You also mention that you weren't insecure, but were you also very aroused before you two started having sex?

Too, depending on the position and angle you two were in, he could have been bumping your cervix. If you two want to keep experimenting with vaginal sex, then trying out different positions, including ones that give you more ability to control the depth, may be the way to go.