Strange Feelings About Friends

[pepsi]

This thing has been happening to me recently where I feel very uncomfortable being around my friends? And not for any specific reason. I'll be eating lunch with my friends and suddenly feel this deep uncomfortable feeling, like I just need to get out of there. It feels like what I would assume romance repulsion would feel like, if that makes any sense?? I don't even know how to explain it. It's like sometimes for no reason I just... hate my friends?? And I love these people, like soooo much. It's really freaking me out. I'm wondering if maybe it's because, with school starting up, I'm getting all people-d out or something?? I really have no idea. Help???????????

[Marisha]

Talk about it! What about them do you love? What do you think these feelings of discomfort are trying to tell you? Are they brought on by certain things your friends say/do, or is it something else?

I wouldn't be surprised if you were maybe dealing with some social fatigue after being stuck inside because of quarantine, but I wonder if these feelings are coming from you (as in, what's going on inside) or if they're coming from them (as in, what they may be doing while they're around you).

[pepsi]

Thank you for replying so quickly and for the advice!! I can't really tell what these feelings are telling me or what they come from. Sometimes it feels like they're caused by physical affection, but I usually love physical affection, and the "not wanted to be touched" thing is not a constant- it fluctuates. Sometimes we'll just be having a conversation about a movie or something happening at school, like random stuff, and it will happen. It's very confusing! These are people who know me better than maybe anyone else, who always support me, respect my boundaries, etc etc. So I think they're coming from me?
Once again thank you so much!!

[Siân]

It could well be something coming from inside you, and that's okay. It might be worth digging a little bit deeper into what exactly those feelings feel like and seeing if that gives you any more insight. Social fatigue sounds like a pretty plausible thing for sure!

A non-exhaustive list of questions you can ask yourself about these feelings: Do I have the energy to be around people this much? Am I having feelings about these people, about this situation, or about myself? Am I having lingering fear, guilt, or similar from pandemic isolation?