I can't find my vagina!

[a369]

So I keep having this same thing where I want to put a tampon in so I check to see where my vagina is and I have no idea. I'm 14 and I've had my period for ages but I've never been able to find my vagina to put a tampon in before. I've looked at diagrams, but I can't find my vagina at all. All I can see is that weird big lump inside my inner labia, where I think there's supposed to be an opening. Sometimes I can't see any opening and sometimes I think I can see three! I have tried to touch the weird lump part to find my vagina but it hurts/feels extremely uncomfortable if I even touch it a tiny bit. I can't see the opening in a mirror or anything either, I can't work out what's a hole and what's a fold and whether there's actually anything there. What do I do??

[Sofi]

Hi a369, welcome to the boards! It sounds like you've already tried the good old mirror self-check, but before I even suggest or ask anything else, I want to check if you've ever seen a healthcare professional about this? It worries me that you describe pain when you even slightly touch the area, there shouldn't be any pain involved so I would want you to check in with a doctor. Is that something you could have access to?

[a369]

It doesn't really hurt if I only slightly touch it, I just get this weird uncomfortable feeling (sort of raw, I guess?) which stays for a couple minutes. In case that's still not normal - I can't make an appointment to see a doctor because I'm under 16 or 18 or whatever, my parents have to make appointments for me.

[Carly]

Hey a369 -- unfortunately we don't have a doctor on our team, nor can we help diagnose a problem like this online. I'm seconding Sofi's suggestion of seeing a doctor. I understand that this is something you need your parents help with - is there a reason you don't want to ask? I imagine it might be a little awkward, but is it that you just don't want to have a discussion about it or is it something else? For what it's worth, you might be able to talk about this with your primary care doctor (not sure if you use that terminology in the UK, but I mean the person you would talk to about your wellness generally or see if you were under the weather) rather than going straight to a gynecologist. Perhaps that could be an easier way to ask?

Also, I'm not sure of the availableness of this where you live, but there might also be some adolescents sexual health clinics in your area that might be able to see you without their permission. Have you ever heard of anything like that?

[a369]

Hi Carly - we call them GPs in the UK and I have actually tried to see one for a different health matter before without my parents knowing, I changed the primary contact number and booked an appointment and everything, but they said I couldn't go without my parents knowing and they called my parents. I don't think there's an adolescents sexual health clinic or anything like that near me, either. I'll think about asking my parents - they tend to think that you're not supposed to talk about this kind of thing, just because that's how they were brought up I guess?
Thanks for the advice though

[Urna]

Hi a369,

I'm sorry to hear that your parents wouldn't be super comfortable talking about reproductive health, given their upbringing. It's heartbreaking how common this attitude is. I'm also sorry about that incident before, where the GP's office called your parents about your health issue without your consent. I don't know where you are in the UK, but you could try contacting the Association for Young People's Health (AYPH) in London by sending them an email or calling in, and they may be able to refer you to a GP in your area. I read in their GP Toolkit that the GPs affiliated with the AYPH let young people make appointments and come for consultations independent of their parents, with no lower age limit. Here are their contact details: https://www.youngpeopleshealth.org.uk/contact.

In case you'd like to bring your issue up with your parents, we can brainstorm how. Would you like that?