Can't Orgasm, Losing My Mind

[CassidyG]

Hey Scarleteen people! It's me again! CassidyG (19f).

Since there are so many folks on this site you probably don't remember the first time I posted here months back. I was the post titled (I think?) "No Pleasure, Hear Me Out".

Life has progressed since I made that post. When I wrote to this discussion board, I had no sensation at all from sex or masturbation. Since then I switched my depression medication, and oh my god, what a difference. Me and my girlfriend were being intimate and I literally yelled out loud in joy when I actually felt pleasure down there. We went to dinner to celebrate and everything.

I bought myself some vibrators afterwards (a bullet and a small wand) and have been liking them a lot! There's only one issue.

I cannot cum for the life of me. I can ride out the vibes and enjoy it all the way, but there's no "release" to the tension. I'm assuming I'll figure this part out eventually too, but in the meantime, some advice would be appreciated.

During actual intercourse the feeling is too intense for me to carry it through all the way, I find it's more tempered and manageable during masturbation. So I've mostly just been legitimately trying to orgasm through solo play. I can find the perfect spot and hold it as long as I can stand it, but it seems my body is hellbent on not letting me finish.

Any tips?

[Mo]

Hi there, CassidyG!

First off, I'm really glad that changing your medication had an impact on how you feel sexual pleasure. It can be SUCH a bummer to have needed medication that comes with unwanted side effects. One thing to keep in mind is that it isn't unusual for people to take a while to figure out exactly what helps them achieve orgasm. You've hit a good first step in finding things that feel good and bring you a lot of pleasure, so I think the best way to proceed is to keep experimenting and doing what feels good.

One thing we know about orgasm is that stressing about it, putting pressure on yourself to orgasm, thinking "why haven't I come yet, this is so frustrating" during sex or masturbation, etc. are all pretty much guaranteed to make an orgasm even less likely to happen. It can turn into a self-perpetuating cycle if you get really caught up in the stress of it, so my big tip for now is to try to focus on that enjoyment and exploration as much as you can for now, and hopefully eventually you'll figure out what works best for you when it comes to reaching orgasm.

[CassidyG]

Hi there, CassidyG!

First off, I'm really glad that changing your medication had an impact on how you feel sexual pleasure. It can be SUCH a bummer to have needed medication that comes with unwanted side effects. One thing to keep in mind is that it isn't unusual for people to take a while to figure out exactly what helps them achieve orgasm. You've hit a good first step in finding things that feel good and bring you a lot of pleasure, so I think the best way to proceed is to keep experimenting and doing what feels good.

One thing we know about orgasm is that stressing about it, putting pressure on yourself to orgasm, thinking "why haven't I come yet, this is so frustrating" during sex or masturbation, etc. are all pretty much guaranteed to make an orgasm even less likely to happen. It can turn into a self-perpetuating cycle if you get really caught up in the stress of it, so my big tip for now is to try to focus on that enjoyment and exploration as much as you can for now, and hopefully eventually you'll figure out what works best for you when it comes to reaching orgasm.

Thank you! That sounds like a fair plan to me. I'll try to pay it less mind from here on out and just go with the flow a bit more.