How do u know if it actually was an assault?

[Girll18]

Hey
My main concern is the subject itself.
How do u exactly know if an event which you did not feel comfortable in was actually an assault?

[Sam W]

Hi Girll18,

The definition of assault that we, and many other organizations use, is: sexual assault is when one person wants and pursues a sexual act on, to or inside another person who does not want to participate, and who does not fully and freely consent to take part in that act. In other words, it's when someone does something sexual to someone else that they do not want or consent to.

Does that definition make things a little clearer?

[Girll18]

Yes alot.
But if its a scenario where you havent spoken up while its happening but your body language shows that you dont want it and later you try pushing the human away too.

Does this also count in as a sexual assault?

[Sofi]

Yes, any time you do not consent or did not want a sexual encounter to happen, that is sexual assault - more importantly, if it feels to you like it was. Consent must always be verbal, so there's also that.
Here is a piece from our site that will answer your question more in depth, please let us know if you have any more questions about it that weren't clarified here, or want to talk about it more: Was it sexual harassment? Was it my fault?

[Girll18]

Is there some article or something like this related to a boys sexual assault

[Sam W]

Do you mean sexual assault that happened to a guy? Or one that was perpetrated by a guy? (we have information on both, I just want to make sure I give you the right thing).

[Girll18]

To a guy

[Sofi]

Here are some pieces on our site you can read, let us know if they resonate or if you have more questions about this or about the articles:
Healing and dealing with triggers and fears as a male sexual abuse survivor
If Guys are Coerced by Girls, Is It Still Sexual Abuse?
Blinders Off: Getting a Good Look at Abuse and Assault

[Girll18]

Firstly thankyou for all the articles.
I actually had asked all this because my boyfriend recently encountered a sexual assault and that made me really worried about him.
I really want to help him in that matter is there any way i can?

[Emily N]

I’m so sorry to hear that. Here are some ideas for helping your boyfriend:

- I like this resource as a starting off point: "What to say to a rape or sexual abuse survivor."
- Most importantly, believe him, and do not blame him for what happened.
- Ask him if there are ways that you can support him (and let him know it’s also okay if he doesn’t know what he needs, either)
- Let him know that you are available to provide support (hugs, listening space, art, snacks)
- Connect him with some of the resources from the link above or Scarleteen if it makes sense to you.
- It’s also important to recognize when and how to take care of yourself during and after these conversations.

[Girll18]

Thanks alot for the article it actually helped me alot.
I also have done all of it like supporting comforting n stuff but i just kind of wanted to help him get over the pain maybe that he felt because of the incident. I mean the mental pain . But now i feel thats not in my hand and i agree it will take time for him to accept it completely and get over it!

[Emily N]

I'm glad it was helpful! But, yeah, it's an important thing to be able to recognize that no one person's actions alone can heal someone of trauma and that healing takes time.

[Girll18]

Agreed .
Thanks alot