Coming out is a struggle

[Oynx]

Hi I am having a really hard time. I came out to my friends and family but I never meant to come out to my family. My parents found a suicide note that I wrote to them telling them that I was LGBQ and a whole bunch of other stuff. Everything is just so hard. I want to kill myself and harm myself. I just feel like everyone would be better without me. I just need help. When my parents found out I denied it because I was not ready to tell them. Does anyone have any advice?? They seemed kind of supportive but still seemed to try changing my mind about it. Then they said that it is an old fashioned religious idea but it applies here. God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve or Eve and Sarah. When I told them like in October they said that I was talking to LGBQ friends about what they went through and it fit in with me they said that you are making their fucked up reality your own.
I am not sure if I should tell them because this fact but I really want to because it is a big thing weighing me down. I just am not sure I am ready. But I really want to. But because of this I am not sure they will accept me if I tell them. Please help me. Any advice??? Please??
They also call LGBQ people cousin it's. and how everyone is confused or it will all pass. "We all just want to be special" If LGBQ people did not become a big problem then none of us would feel like this, but I kind of feel like have always felt like this just never able to explain how I felt and never able to understand that is what I felt is what it called.
I need help so please help me