vaginal pain

[ScarletFlight]

Today I fooled around with a guy for the first time. He asked if he could put his hand down my pants and I said yes, he could touch but I didn't want him to enter me. He put a few fingers in and it hurt really bad. I waited a moment because I thought it would start to feel better but it was super painful and asked him to stop and he did. My vagina is still really really sore. Is there anything I can do to help it hurt less?

[Michaela]

Hi ScarletFlight, and welcome to the boards!

I'm so sorry to hear that you had this experience. Anything (fingers, penis, objects, etc.) going into the vaginal canal without warning or wanting it to happen can cause injury and/or pain. I'd recommend checking in with a healthcare provider if the pain persists and doesn’t seem to be lessening, if it is extremely painful and interfering with your daily life, or if you are wanting some peace of mind. Otherwise, rest and time might help to heal what is causing the soreness. Are you still having a lot of pain?

You mentioned setting a boundary, no vaginal entry, that your partner did not respect. I'm glad to hear that once you asked again he did, however, as I am understanding it you made it clear beforehand that you were not interested in that type of sexual contact. That sounds like it could have been very distressing for you. I want to check in with you about how you are feeling about it (pain aside). How are you doing? Have you been able to or feel comfortable speaking to your partner about this aspect of the interaction?

Finally, you mentioned hoping that the pain of vaginal entry would go away, but it didn't. Pain with penetration is a pretty common issue people with vaginas can experience. If you are wanting to discuss more about how to have less pain because you are wanting to experience penetration– we can. However, only if YOU are wanting to engage in that type of sexual contact. If you are not wanting to engage in that type of sexual contact that is completely fine and it sounds like you are comfortable setting that boundary with partners which is then up to them to respect.