Pee, NOT female ejaculation

[Smallgirl]

I'm a seventeen year old Virgin and I've just started to masturbate, done it only two times. The thing is, I end up peeing when I masturbate. I don't think this is female ejaculation because it is yellow. Yes, a nice, clear yellow. And, the quantity is enormous. I emptied EVERYTHING in my bladder before masturbating, but still ended up peeing, repeatedly, around 7 to 8 times. It was around 30 ml EACH time, I even tried to measure it. That would it make it around 210 to 240 ml on the whole. And I don't even go to the point of orgasm before I pee, it's just, I finger my clitoris for about 15 seconds and I pee. This happens even when I simply aim the shower head at my genitals. I don't even have to TOUCH my genitals. It even smells like pee. It isn't that viscous. I'm completely positive that it's urine. I've searched the internet and found out that many girls have had this problem but nobody has an answer. Everybody only says, that isn't pee, that's your lady fluid. But, I even tried to find out from which hole it comes from, and it wasn't my vagina. It was from the above-the-vagina area. And I don't feel that earth-shattering pleasure everybody talks about. So, what IS happening? Am I going to do this all over my boyfriend when we finally have sex? Please, help.
Thanks.

[Heather]

Welcome to the boards.

So, a few things here.

You know, we STILL only have so much data on "female" ejaculate, but what we do have still has not shown that we should figure it isn't related to urine or doesn't at least include urine. So, the thing about this is that it's basically entirely possible everyone ejaculating is doing something that at least has some urea in it no matter what.

One thing I will often ask people worried about if they are urinating or ejaculating is what they think makes ejaculate better and urine worse. In other words, what's so different about those fluids? Personally, they don't seem different to me, and I'd say urinating on a bed or ejaculating on a bed are basically the same, and also -- despite the mess of either and having to deal with that -- each no better or worse than the other, no more or less okay, except that people have somehow got it in their heads urine is icky but ejaculate is cool. Get where I'm going with that?

If you are concerned you may be unable to control your bladder, or are urinating outside your control even after emptying it, it's a good idea to check in with a healthcare provider, just to make sure you don't have a bladder issue (or bladder or urinary tract infection) that needs care. So, I'd suggest just checking in since you have this concern to be sure you don't have a health issue you need to treat or manage so it doesn't get worse over time or get in the way of your life with or without any kind of sex or masturbation.

We can also talk about the concerns about pleasure and about body fluids with sex with partners, but I wanted to start here first. Is there anything with all of this you want to talk more about before I dig into those other bits?

[Smallgirl]

First of all, thanks. I never expected a reply so soon.
And, you're right, there's not a big difference between squirting and peeing, I'd be disappointed even I'm actually squirting. All the washing-the-sheets-every-single-time thing, sound tiring. But then, I guess, from what you say, maybe it's okay, all the peeing thing. You're right, I need to talk to my boyfriend about it. If he's got no problem with that, I don't see why I should be worrying about this. And awkward convo coming right up.
And, I have no problem controlling my bladder at other times. I can hold it in with no problem. It's just when I'm doing this, that I can't.

[Sam W]

Hi smallgirl

I wanted to throw a few things out there. First, if this is something that happens frequently and you're worried about clean-up, you could look into buying a blanket or other bed covering that you use specifically for sex, so you're only having to wash one item.

Too, if you're worried about the awkwardness of the conversation with your boyfriend, you may find some helpful tips for that conversation in this article (that doesn't guarantee it won't be awkward, but a little awkwardness now and then doesn't hurt anyone): Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

[Smallgirl]

Thanks, Sam. The blanket idea should work.
We've been together for 3 years and we do talk about everything( though I have to initiate it everytime) and we've put off sex for atleast one more year. I was just hesitating, that telling him this now might have him thinking I'm rushing, but I was being irrational. I guess I needed to accept it first before my boyfriend does. My head's all clear now. And, that was a great article( Be a Blabbermouth) thanks again!

[Mikalahm]

Hello! I hope you don't mind me responding, and if you do sorry my bad. But I thought this was important, I'm 13 and a virgin and I have the same problem. But I think I know why this is happening already. I have a very small bladder, it's a medical problem and I guess when masturbating it over stimulates my bladder and it all comes rushing out. So I don't think its anything worth worrying about...

-mikalah

[Destbaby6363]

I made an account just to reply to this. I’m 17 and have the same issue. If the shower head touches my clit i pee. If I’m masturbating and play with my clit i pee. It’s a lot of fluid and is yellow and smells like diluted urine. I have no problem hold my pee but when my clit is being touched I pee all over at least 3 times in 5 mins. I do have some good news for you though. I’ve been having sex since I was 12 and have never had this issue during sex. 95% of the men I’ve been with don’t even focus on the clit. They are extremely focused on the hole and getting inside it. Even with the guys that have focused on the clit as well this hasn’t happened. I find it very strange that if I touch my clit I pee but if someone else touches it nothing happens besides pleasure. I don’t even feel like I’m going to pee. Sometimes I even try to make myself pee during sex and I can’t. It’s very strange. Our situations sound very similar so you might find that you don’t pee either during sex. Best of luck to you

[Smallgirl]

Destbaby6363, thank you for taking the time to share this.
You have described exactly what I'm going through! Except that I'm still a virgin( ) And wow, you've never had that happen during sex!? That's surprising. Is sex still as pleasurable as masturbation or maybe even better?

[monicanicoleray]

Hi smallgirl! I’m 18 this year and you’re the first person I hve seen online talking about this but it’s literally me!!! This has been haunting me since I started masturbating and has made me really insecure, especially about being intimate with my boyfriend. Just wanted to ask you how has everything been with respect to this situation, and how was having sex like with your boyfriend?

I really hope you see this and respond because you really are probably the only person I can relate to ... and I’m feeling extremely at a loss Thank you!

[Sam W]

Hi monicanicoleray,

I'm glad smallgirl's post has been helpful! If she doesn't end up picking the conversation up here, please know you're welcome to make a new thread to discuss your particular worries about this issue.

[Smallgirl]

Hi smallgirl! I’m 18 this year and you’re the first person I hve seen online talking about this but it’s literally me!!! This has been haunting me since I started masturbating and has made me really insecure, especially about being intimate with my boyfriend. Just wanted to ask you how has everything been with respect to this situation, and how was having sex like with your boyfriend?

I really hope you see this and respond because you really are probably the only person I can relate to ... and I’m feeling extremely at a loss Thank you!

Hey there! First of all, I'm really sorry because I don't think I can give you any advice as I still haven't had sex (uber-conservative city ).
But I've made peace with my situation and have stopped worrying about it - the guy I like now says it doesn't matter to him at all and that it might even be a good thing. But I'd love to help you . Now have you talked to your boyfriend about this?

[monicanicoleray]

Hi smallgirl! I’m 18 this year and you’re the first person I hve seen online talking about this but it’s literally me!!! This has been haunting me since I started masturbating and has made me really insecure, especially about being intimate with my boyfriend. Just wanted to ask you how has everything been with respect to this situation, and how was having sex like with your boyfriend?

I really hope you see this and respond because you really are probably the only person I can relate to ... and I’m feeling extremely at a loss Thank you!

Hey there! First of all, I'm really sorry because I don't think I can give you any advice as I still haven't had sex (uber-conservative city ).
But I've made peace with my situation and have stopped worrying about it - the guy I like now says it doesn't matter to him at all and that it might even be a good thing. But I'd love to help you . Now have you talked to your boyfriend about this?

Hi smallgirl! So nice to hear from you
Just wanted to ask, how is masturbation like now? Are the same problems still happening, because I get that it’s quite frustrating ‘cumming’/peeing within seconds of fiddling around down there!

Love that you shared this because it really made me feel more comfortable about sharing my own problems too Hope we can talk this out!

[0PT1M15T1C]

I hope it's okay I chime in for a second here, I wasn't sure I fully wanted to, but I definitely think it's interesting.

The things mentioned here are things I did used to have problems (for lack of a better term) with, that still arise sometimes now. I used to get pretty frustrated with it, because a lot of the times, I was going to the bathroom right before, when the issue first arose, I was actually struggling with staying hydrated. I still noticed that a lot of times when I masturbated, that I found this sort of thing happened, I don't know exactly how I want to explain that though. It is pretty similar, although I'm not sure to the amount you're talking to, granted I've never attempted measuring. I've found that yeah, it happens with clitoral stimulation and although it's made me wonder about a few things, I worked through it.

For a little while it felt weird, and was definitely worrying me but the way I kind of tackled it was by doing research, I know it was mentioned above, but there really isn't a lot of information out there, so it took a while. I know Heather mentioned this, but either way I just kind of viewed them as still being fluids from similar places and if something was an issue, I could either wash my sheets, or usually just my underwear and sometimes pants if it went that far. I kind of made my peace with it because after my googling, I found it actually wasn't that uncommon (which also shows in this thread, with people of different ages and experiences chiming in). At first I kind of let it get in the way of what I was doing because I'd freak out and stop, but I've learned that it happening doesn't really affect what I'm doing, I personally find that after I'm done anyways, I really need things clean and since I have to do it anyways, I don't let that part bother me. I find I don't like the feeling of things just being left afterwards even if this doesn't happen, I wash my hands before and after, I clean that area of my body or take a shower, I wash my sheets regularly, usually I also change my underwear, but that's just me. - I also want to mention I've never had sex, so I can relate to that piece of the discussion. It felt really abnormal, especially at first, and actually it was part of the reason I chose to get tested STIs (there were other reasons too, but it was one that made me wonder if things were doing okay). I just found it's not something really talked about because there is a lot of stigma around it, but I honestly just think it's one of the quirks about the human body. It's certainly noticeable when this happens, but I think reminding myself that my body does weirder (in my opinion) things was a big help. It's something that sometimes for me, happens a lot in a given time period, not at all or somewhere in between so I've just kind of learned to accept that. I'm going to admit though, it still does catch me off guard sometimes whether it's amount or just it happening.

[scorpchick]

It's really good to know that other people are going through the same thing as me. I've never cum from sex and I figured the reason is because I don't know what I like so I've been trying to figure that out with toys (regular masturbation didn't work for me. As stupid as it sounds, I think I'm doing it wrong smh). When I orgasm I'm pretty sure I'm peeing and it's embarrassing as hell. Glad I can finally say that I've had an orgasm but I'm probably going to be celibate for a while now..

[Alice M]

Hi scorpchick, thanks for sharing your experience here. I know how shared experiences can help folks feel less alone. If you're up for advice, conversation about this and/or have questions, feel free to make your own thread and we'd be happy to discuss.

[needanswers]

To all the people who talked about this issue in this thread, i must extend my thanks to you all, for this is something I have been struggling with for a while now.
I believe it was the account who started the thread mentioned measuring up to 200ml of urine at once before masturbation and as I have measured before, I release an average of 750ml every time I use the bathroom. I stay hydrated and that led me to believe that maybe I should empty out my bladder completely before any action and that did not work for me although I have only ever masturbated three or four times ..tops.
What you have mentioned with the showerhead is true to some extent in my case too.
My query is that for me urine and ejaculation is both equally unhygienic and needs cleansing of any area it is released on, but that it also does not solve the issue at hand as I'm seeking a solution where I can stop the urination during masturbation. I have no hands on experience with sexual intercourse, and I'm 19 and have just started masturbating and that half a minute into touching my clitoris, my bladder lets lose and it was almost 10-12 ml of release that wasn't viscous but rather a mix of a bit of precum and largely urine.

I've never had trouble holding in my pee but only during the times i masturbate, either i feel the pee coming or once I thought I was just imagining things and I didn't hold it in and experienced a pee release. and even during the first couple times, I had to rush to the bathroom to release the small amount because it just didn't feel sanitary after that.
another time i had trouble holding in my pee was when i was skipping for over 20 minutes i felt like i had to pee and every time I came back from the bathroom after that, to resume to skipping rope I kept feeling the need to return to the bathroom and release the build up.

My only question to you is, is there any possible way I could completely stop this from happening, or will i have to learn to live with it?

[Sam W]

Hi needanswers,

I'm glad this thread has been helpful for you! I do want to say that if you're noticing issues holding pee during other times (like the skipping incident) what you're dealing with may have to do more with your body's overall ability to retain urine rather than masturbation specifically.

Too, since you've only masturbated a few times, have you found there are positions that put more or less pressure on your bladder? Or have you tried the same position every time?

[lilikoi]

Hi needanswers! Hope it's okay to jump in here. I read the subject line and had to click on it since it's something I have been thinking a lot about.

A year ago, I had the BEST experience with a pelvic floor therapist on the recommendation of my gynecologist. During the visit with the PFT I learned a lot about leaking since I struggle to hold in my pee. I am diagnosed with vaginismus which for me presents as an involuntary tightening of pelvic floor muscles that can make tightening at the right time (skipping, jumping rope, sneezing, etc) difficult. Vaginismus has other symptoms besides being unable to hold in pee but that one is what affects me most daily. My experience learning about vaginismus and pelvic floor therapy has taught me that, largely, peeing when you don't mean to could be a pelvic floor concern. The muscles of our pelvic floor are there to control both pee and poop from releasing at the wrong time (as well as being an important core muscle for posture). I don't know if talking to a gynecologist is a possibility for you but in my experience, just mentioning that I was leaking (and I have no kids and am fairly young) was a red flag to them and got them to listen. If you have access to a gyno, you could try mentioning pelvic floor therapy if that's available to you!

If that is not available, I would recommend doing additional research on vaginismus. I am not an expert but know that, for some, peeing when it's not intended could be either a tight or loose pelvic floor. The recommendations for either are very different. I have a tight pelvic floor so my exercises are focused on stretching and relaxing the muscles with diaphragmatic breathing. It has totally helped! But for those with a loose pelvic floor, my understanding is that the approach would be the opposite.

My one experience peeing during sex was penetrative so I don't know how helpful it will be but when I brought it up to my therapist, she said I am still working on identifying the correct muscles to engage for pleasure vs. peeing. That hasn't happened since but I have been enjoying getting to know my body through the muscles of the pelvic floor and highly recommend it for everyone I know now. Could be helpful for you!