Can you love someone you've never met?

[sof_ia44]

Alright so I've had this sort of "crush" on a girl from my school for a WHILE now. I know her name but I've never actually met her. She and I had a class in the same room at two different times. Her class was right before mine, so I would see her walk out with her friends and such. At first I was just attracted to her, but then I actually developed a crush and now it's really damn strong. I feel kind of stupid for being infatuated with her because I barely know her. In fact, I really don't know her at all besides what she posts online. We've made eye contact nearly every time she leaves the classroom and I feel like there's something there. When I think about it too hard I feel a bit delusional for thinking that, but it's the vibe I'm getting. I'm just want to know if this is a normal thing to feel? Can you actually be in love with someone you've never met? Or is it just pure infatuation?

[Sam W]

Hi sof_ia44,

Intense crushes are definitely a common thing, and plenty of people get them on someone they barely know, haven't met, or haven't even seen in person (like in the case of someone getting a really intense crush on a celebrity). So you're far from the only person feeling something like this (in fact, you're probably not even the only person in your class feeling like this).

As for whether or not you can be in love with someone you've never met, I think you can certainly experience intense feelings of desire or interest in them, but that's not quite the same as being in love (although desire and interest can certainly be elements of love). To love someone, we have to get to know them, to learn how they actually are as a person. Because if we don't have that experience, we're not really in love with them; we're in love with our idea of them, which is a very different thing. Does that make sense?

[sof_ia44]

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Describing it as loving the idea of the person rather than actually loving them in this kind of situation really fits. Thank you

[Sam W]

You're welcome, and I'm so glad the explanation was helpful!