Girlfriend cheated on me.

[orimeow]

On 2022 I [16M, at that time] met this girl [16 at that time] on Discord. We started talking a lot and got close. In Jan 2023, she asked me if I was willing to date her when her relationship was over (which she said is ending soon, or whatever) and I said yes because she honestly seemed like a really nice person and all and we had a lot of stuff in common. We started dating a few days later, and this time of my life, I felt like the most luckiest person to have met her in the first place. We talked a lot, flirted with each other, made plans for future (like meeting up). So, one day I just spammed "ily" in her DMs like 10 times and she seemed really annoyed. I tried to apologise to her but she was very mad at me for some reason, I don't really know (this was around 1-2month of our relationship). Since this event, our relationship had been going downhill. She had always been "busy" with school and didnt reply to me, like ever. Most of our DMs during that period has been just me saying hi, wishing her goodmorning/night texts, asking if she was okay and stuff, without her replies to most of them. I started noticing these red flags, but I didnt really tell her anything because I didnt want her to be mad at me like the previous time. She would barely respond to me in DMs but talk in other discord servers. Everything between us collapsed, and I still kept trying to save the relationship. Whenever I would ask her why she wouldnt respond to me, she said (IF she replied of course) that she's really busy. This kept going on for a long time until in Nov 2023, I decided to tell everything to her, about how I didnt feel like the relationship is working out and she needed to atleast try a bit to make this work out.

Now, that we have reached until this part of my story, Id like to make some points:
1- She said she was a mute (she lost her voice) and couldnt speak.
2- She said her profile picture was the picture of her own cat and she's never taking it off (I asked her if we could match). She did change her profile picture a couple of times though, to match with people I didnt know about. I asked her about it but she would reply to anything but this question.
3- She said she put a lot of work on her Discord banner and she won't change it either.
4- She said she couldn't have me on her Bio either because it's compact and "barely fits the limit".
5- She never wanted to show me her face. I just knew her irl name our whole relationship.
6- She replied to my selfie picture with "I dont care about what you look like bb, I love you for you"
7- She said she doesnt have any other socials than her discord account but when I had moderator role in her server, I saw her asking a person she was matching with at that time "you saw my snap silly?"

(cont.) Shortly after I sent the text (I'll include it at the end of the rant), she only said "I dont have you on mute, Im not responding to dms, only looking at server", then sent me an instagram cat post next day. I asked her to read the whole thing because she hadnt replied to my questions to which her response was she already read it (and sent a speechbubbled meme of a cats face on an apple). I honestly was feeling really shitty about how she responded, so I ended up blocking her. I tried to move on but I couldnt, I kept thinking about her everyday, everytime and I was shaking whenever I got reminded of her. I ended up unblocking her, apologising for blocking her out of the blue. Her first messages were "its fine, you ok now, sweetheart? missed you". We talked for a bit, a proper talk since AGES of our relationship. She also revealed shortly during this talk that she actually wasnt a mute and lied about it. I didnt really care since I still had feelings for her, though I didnt mean to "date her again", until she actually said "Ill accept you if you want <3", to which I could not resist lol. I thought things would be like before again where we would talk like we used to. Things didnt turn to be out that way. It was again me, speaking in her DMs, waiting for a response for ages, lucky if I got a reply, until I eventually gave up on this silently, without telling anyone. I didnt message her, and neither did she. For almost a whole entire month. I found out she started streaming on twitch, so I watched her without telling her because there would be no point in waiting for a response anyways. I noticed that the person she talks to and her were really flirty. So I decided to investigate this. I asked my friend to join her twitch server on an alternative account and DM the guy she played with. After a bit of talking, the guy admits that he is dating my girlfriend. I could not get this through my head but after like 4 days I messaged that guy myself, and told him how she is cheating on both of us. He obviously didnt care, called me retarded and how its "not clear that she doesnt want me anymore". I ask her who he is and she replied "why should I tell you?" instantly and I gave my reasons. After talking with her boyfriend, it was pretty clear to me that I couldnt do anything, and she loved him, not me, at all. Texts from him include "Yea I have her so I don’t really want her because I have her
It’s more like you want her but she dosnt want you", "she meant "getting back together" as a friendly way, not a relationship wise way", "she didnt ever cheat on you", how she always DMd him but not me and "You dont even know her real name or what she looks like but if you think dating like that is cool and getting cucked is fun then by all means" (I assume she lied about her name as well). I feel like the most shittiest person ever. I did everything and anything for her, of course I cannot include everything but yeah. Pretty much thats it.

Here's the text I sent her: "Hey (name), I know you are probably busy or sleepy or just have me muted... I dont know. Honestly the relationship has been quite blank lately. I have noticed many red flags and I have never told you about it because I loved you, but it.... it just felt like a one side feeling. I see you typing in your server but not responding to my dms, it has happened a lot of times but I rather was silent. Yesterday when you did not reply to me I was genuinely very much worried and today you were responding to messages in your server and couldnt assure me that you are safe. I don't think you uphold feelings for me anymore, and if that's the case please let me know and we can part ways, which will be beneficial for both you and me. I miss the (name) you used to be. I still remember when we first met, you would not just dm "ily"s but talk to me, excited to know me more. I guess that era of ours has ended and you don't see a spark in the relationship. I am sorry if you still do have feelings and are "busy" but I tried to commit everything I have into this one relationship which you failed and it only felt like a one side effort."

Sorry for this long rant. Good night.

[Sam W]

Hi orimeow,

This sounds like it was a really crummy way for a relationship to end, and like it was the ending of a relationship that had been pretty one-sided for some time. Is there a particular way we can support you in how you're feeling around all this, or particular things you wanted to talk about?