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Feeling being rude and offensive

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mika.m
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Posts: 80
Joined: Sun Dec 17, 2023 9:46 am
Age: 17
Awesomeness Quotient: No one is flawless
Primary language: Persian(Farsi)
Pronouns: He/him
Sexual identity: Bisexual, Male cis
Location: Iran

Feeling being rude and offensive

Unread post by mika.m »

Long story short, I was at beach and everything was normal until I see a woman(seems like she is cis) with big breasts and obvious cleavage(sounds like she had some undone buttons of her shirt and doesn't wear bra). Whenever she stepped her breasts bounce up, it makes me feel good. I was trying to watch her boobies anonymously somewhat. After that I have had a bad feeling like that is it rude? Is it offensive to watch someone without her consent? Is it against her and women's rights?
I know that it's normal to feel horny but what if there's not any consent?
mika.m
not a newbie
Posts: 80
Joined: Sun Dec 17, 2023 9:46 am
Age: 17
Awesomeness Quotient: No one is flawless
Primary language: Persian(Farsi)
Pronouns: He/him
Sexual identity: Bisexual, Male cis
Location: Iran

Re: Feeling being rude and offensive

Unread post by mika.m »

Also did I do something immoral?
Latha
scarleteen staff/volunteer
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Joined: Sat May 22, 2021 6:13 am
Primary language: English
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Re: Feeling being rude and offensive

Unread post by Latha »

Hi Mika.m,

It is not bad or immoral to see someone and notice a physical feature that you like. But when we're in public, it is important to make sure we're not creating significant discomfort for other people. For example, it would be a little rude to stare, because it might make her feel self-conscious. Do you think you can notice, but keep yourself from over-focusing on such things?
mika.m
not a newbie
Posts: 80
Joined: Sun Dec 17, 2023 9:46 am
Age: 17
Awesomeness Quotient: No one is flawless
Primary language: Persian(Farsi)
Pronouns: He/him
Sexual identity: Bisexual, Male cis
Location: Iran

Re: Feeling being rude and offensive

Unread post by mika.m »

Are you saying that was okay to see her boobs even without making discomfort and her permission?
Yeah I can, I tryed to don't make her feel discomfort but I tryed to enjoy with seeing her boobs without her permission too.
Is it not against her privacy?
Willa
scarleteen staff/volunteer
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Age: 23
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Sexual identity: bisexual woman
Location: washington dc

Re: Feeling being rude and offensive

Unread post by Willa »

Hi Mika.m,

Noticing someone in a public place and noticing a physical feature you like it not against her privacy, as that is how she chose to present herself. Like Latha said it is about balancing this noticing and attraction with knowing it is not respectful to overly stare at just a physical aspect such as her breasts. While it is normal to feel attracted to different people and things and is healthy to notice what you are attracted to, it is also important to remember the person who has the features is a person too and wants to feel comfortable too. We can be attracted to people but do not want to reduce them to our sexual attraction to them, does that make sense?

Yes it is fine to notice something attractive to you and that in itself is not wrong, but it is important to practice self control- to notice and process how you feel and then to move on with your day and what you were doing.
mika.m
not a newbie
Posts: 80
Joined: Sun Dec 17, 2023 9:46 am
Age: 17
Awesomeness Quotient: No one is flawless
Primary language: Persian(Farsi)
Pronouns: He/him
Sexual identity: Bisexual, Male cis
Location: Iran

Re: Feeling being rude and offensive

Unread post by mika.m »

Yeah get it
So then is that okay to enjoy this later? Like think about her later and masturbate while she doesn't have bad feelings?
Willa
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 143
Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2023 1:03 pm
Age: 23
Awesomeness Quotient: I think I am silly and love making ppl laugh
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: bisexual woman
Location: washington dc

Re: Feeling being rude and offensive

Unread post by Willa »

Hi Mika.m,

Yes it is fine to remember experiences you have and things you saw to use them in times like during masturbation. This is common for people to think about certain people they know or have seen to become aroused. Doing this in private is fine.
mika.m
not a newbie
Posts: 80
Joined: Sun Dec 17, 2023 9:46 am
Age: 17
Awesomeness Quotient: No one is flawless
Primary language: Persian(Farsi)
Pronouns: He/him
Sexual identity: Bisexual, Male cis
Location: Iran

Re: Feeling being rude and offensive

Unread post by mika.m »

Okay that's great I will go for fantasize it privately. Thanks:)
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