I can’t stop feeling horrible about my fetish

[Heather]

Thanks for filling us in about the OCD. By all means, that’s probably a piece of why you are so bothered by this: as you probably know, intrusive thoughts are very common for folks with OCD.

That said, it sounds like you’ve worked out a couple ways to manage these feelings and thoughts that are working for you, so that’s great!

I do want to tell you that there are people who say horrible things about EVERY kind of sexual person and every kind of sex and sexuality. In such a sex-negative culture, it’s unfortunately just part and parcel of how this all goes.

So, maybe next time, also keep in mind that this isn’t just something that happens around this one thing that is sexual for you, but to literally everyone, especially if and when we are operating in any way outside the most heteronormative ways of being sexual.

[Malla_Fluff]

Yeah, that’s true!

I’m trying to get better at telling myself that different doesn’t equal bad. It’s just hard when it’s so… unique and specific.

I try to tell myself that at least I don’t hurt anyone, and don’t do anything illegal, but my intrusive thoughts still like to tell me that this is the worst of the worst, ruins me as a person, defines me as a whole, makes me awful, and the list goes on.

I’m trying to tackle some of my OCD with a therapist soon.


I just have one quick question.

My intrusive thoughts like to convince me I’m the only teenage girl who’s into stuff like this, or kinky in general.

I get terrified when I think about that most people I follow online that like the same things as me such as anime, cartoons, Hello Kitty, or whatever, are probably completely normal sexually.

I often feel gross for liking my things, knowing I have this other side that feels like a dark secret.


So my question is, do you think it’s possible that other teenage girls like me online aren’t… “normal” sexually? And also can have weird kinks/fetishes that they engage with in secret/private?

Like… I always feel a bit guilty after reading my fanfictions/viewing art of my fetish.

Do you think other teenage girls might do something similar with an uncommon kink if they had one?


I just don’t want to feel like the only teenage girl who’s like this…


It feels like it takes over me as a person.


I feel guilty for liking what I like and engaging in fandoms, edits, TikToks, fanfiction, and more because I have this fetish and feel like it’s a dark side that stops me from being normal if that makes sense.

[Jacob]

I'd say that whatever you're thinking of as "normal" will more likely represent a minority of sexual experiences. Indeed the more you look, the less it makes sense to call any sexual activity or taste "normal".

If you struggle with OCD it's important to remember that these self criticisms are usually much more about feelings than they are actually about the facts of what people fantasize about or what is or isn't normal.

When your stress takes this form of interrogation, I'd really recommend reminding yourself to ask yourself how you're feeling, not what you're thinking, but feeling... It might feel silly at first but asking yourself if you're hungry, thirsty, sad, tired, and then asking what practical thing (not reassurance or fixation) might help with the feeling.