Chat...support

[lmd]

Hi,

I think I'd like to chat to get some help... When is it available?

Thanks.

[HannahP]

Hi Imd!

I will let the team know about your message and someone will respond to you tomorrow to schedule a time with you!

[lmd]

Thanks a lot

[KierC]

Hey lmd!

Thank you for your message about requesting to use chat! Could you tell me a little about what you’re looking to use chat for first? That will help us determine if we might be able to help you sooner here on the boards.

[lmd]

Gawd... it's just I try to have fun, if it makes sense... and it's not easy... I feel overwhelmed and stuck... and not sure what to do. I don't know what an orgasm is...

I doubt a lot and I am not sure what to do with my fingers, even tho I read a lot of the articles here and I try, but I feel nervous and mentally frozen... I bought a vibrator cuz I read a girl here solved it using one... but I am not brave to use it...

Idk what to do...

[Heather]

Thanks for filling us in. So, how about we get started here by sharing some information we have on the site that can answer some of these questions?

This one is a good, very basic explanation of one framework for the human sexual response cycle, including orgasm: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... sers-guide

If you're cisgender, this one might help answer more questions about it and help with what you're looking for from orgasm: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... nder-women

There's really no one way for anyone to masturbate, there's just anyone doing a lot of experimenting and exploring. In other words, you touch yourself in different places, different ways, see what feels good and what doesn't, and take it from there. Too, you never want to aim for orgasm or focus on it. Orgasm only lasts a few seconds, in the first place, it's everything leading up to it and around it that's where the really good stuff lies, in just experiencing pleasure, with or without orgasm. Orgasm also tends to be something that isn't easy to have happen when someone is hyperfocused on it. You kind of need to make yourself not care about it and just focus on what feels good.

With your vibrator, what do you think has you scared about using it? How about first just using it on your hand to feel how it feels on an area that isn't your genitals?

[lmd]

Hi,

I read those articles already... I think it's just me being childish and not brave at all to do things, to keep going and let it go and so... I get stuck trying and I doubt a lot. I know the theory but the practice is not easy for me. When I start, it's kinda okay, until I start feeling more and I feel nervous and I give up.

I read the post here from a girl, around my age, with similar issues, who used a vibrator and it worked for her. I wanted to try that but I feel scared about going inside... it vibrates too much...

I don't know. I guess it's me being too scared but I am not sure how to move forward and encourage myself somehow to try more...

Thanks

[aarija]

Hey lmd,
It sounds like you're feeling pressure to enjoy masturbation right away. As Heather said, there's no one way to do this and I'll add that there's no deadline for figuring out what works for you. It can take folks anywhere from days to years to find a self pleasure practice that meets their needs.

I hear that the sensations you're experiencing get overwhelming, which is why you stop. That is perfectly ok. It's also ok to find a level of sensation that you're enjoying, and just try to stay there a while. Don't push yourself further along. You can even experiment with pausing when you feel too much and resuming once things have settled down.

Basically, just keep practicing!

It may also help to ask yourself; why are you masturbating? Is that desire coming from yourself, or another source?

[lmd]

Hi, thanks.

When I tried and it starts to feel a lot, it's overwhelming and scary for me... Do you mean trying to stay there for a while when I feel a lot? I don't think I could tbh...

I know friends do it... and well, it's not about pressure or anything... but I guess I want to know how it is, how it feels... out of curiosity...

Thanks...

[Latha]

Hi lmd!

I think Aarij was saying that you could find a place that feels good but not overwhelming or scary and stay there for a while, not that you should stay in a place that feels like too much. And that isn't the only option — you can always take breaks or move to a different activity. If genital masturbation is a lot, you could try exploring erogenous areas on other parts of the body.

I'm glad to hear that you don't feel pressure! Curiosity is not a bad reason to explore masturbation at all — just remember that whether or how you masturbate has no bearing on your maturity or how brave you are.