feminism and female submissives in heterosexual relationships
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camila
- not a newbie
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2025 9:31 pm
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- Primary language: español
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- Sexual identity: arospec lesbian
- Location: usa
feminism and female submissives in heterosexual relationships
hi scarleteen!
i wanted to invite discussion on a topic of female sexuality that has been gaining traction on social media lately. i have noticed a lot of discussions around female submissiveness in heterosexual relationships, and this might be due to the reveal of the artwork for sabrina carpenter's upcoming album, "man's best friend". i've seen feminists both defend and criticize the artwork, and it's got me thinking more deeply about the topic. i'm inclined to believe that submissiveness is a choice/lifestyle that all women have a right to enjoy, but i understand how the way female submissiveness is portrayed in mainstream media can uphold some regressive ideas about sexuality, and influence how girls think of themselves + their identity in a relationship.
while i appreciate the perspectives i've read in other places, i thought scarleteen would be a great place to bring this up.. i'd love to hear some of your thoughts!
i wanted to invite discussion on a topic of female sexuality that has been gaining traction on social media lately. i have noticed a lot of discussions around female submissiveness in heterosexual relationships, and this might be due to the reveal of the artwork for sabrina carpenter's upcoming album, "man's best friend". i've seen feminists both defend and criticize the artwork, and it's got me thinking more deeply about the topic. i'm inclined to believe that submissiveness is a choice/lifestyle that all women have a right to enjoy, but i understand how the way female submissiveness is portrayed in mainstream media can uphold some regressive ideas about sexuality, and influence how girls think of themselves + their identity in a relationship.
while i appreciate the perspectives i've read in other places, i thought scarleteen would be a great place to bring this up.. i'd love to hear some of your thoughts!
"the only thing i do know is that we have to be kind. please, be kind. especially when we don't know what's going on."
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Anya
- scarleteen staff/volunteer
- Posts: 165
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- Awesomeness Quotient: I make my own jewelry!
- Pronouns: they/them
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- Location: UK
Re: feminism and female submissives in heterosexual relationships
Hi Camilandia,
This is such a great topic of discussion right now. Thank you for bringing it here! I do not speak for Scarleteen as a whole when I say this, but I'd love to give it some personal thoughts!
There are so many nuances and considerations when thinking about power dynamics and gender roles in culture. In regard to that album cover specifically, some will def say that it can be derogatory to see her in a submissive role like that, and in some contexts, it may be. It's interesting here, though, given the context it exists in, such as being produced and released BY her, as well as identifying her expression and body language in the photo, expressions which, to me, actually evoke a sense of superiority or domination. Maybe this is because she directed the shoot, maybe she wants to be seen as balancing submissiveness and domination, or simply because she doesn't want the cover to distract from the fact that SHE still is the most important aspect of the shoot, given she's the artist, not the other person in frame.
When topics like gendered power dynamics come up, I personally like to begin dissecting something by trying to understand the context. Using media literacy tools like critical thinking, and asking questions, I can come up with context-curious questions like, "What might the agenda be for this photoshoot? To make money? To identify her a certain way?" also, "what might the message be here?" and "who else might influence her decision making process?"
It can also be helpful to look outside the frame of this photo and think about how her audience may receive it, who her audience is made up of, the repercussions of addressing or not addressing nuance and the boundaries of play or fantasy (as this photo may allude to), and where else people are getting their education on gender and power from.
Art is such a big part of culture, and for as long as art has been around, art depicting sexuality has been around. The concept of the "male gaze," coined by Laura Mulvey, helps to identify and define some of the depictions of women/non-men in media, but certainly does not cover everything. It always helps to be curious and come to art/music/cultural events with an open mind and questions. Who knows what Sabrina Carpenter's goal was with the photo, and until she names it, we may not ever know.
Stay curious, name nuance, and ask questions <3
Now let's hear from all of YOU! What do you think about this cultural phenomenon and recent album cover?
This is such a great topic of discussion right now. Thank you for bringing it here! I do not speak for Scarleteen as a whole when I say this, but I'd love to give it some personal thoughts!
There are so many nuances and considerations when thinking about power dynamics and gender roles in culture. In regard to that album cover specifically, some will def say that it can be derogatory to see her in a submissive role like that, and in some contexts, it may be. It's interesting here, though, given the context it exists in, such as being produced and released BY her, as well as identifying her expression and body language in the photo, expressions which, to me, actually evoke a sense of superiority or domination. Maybe this is because she directed the shoot, maybe she wants to be seen as balancing submissiveness and domination, or simply because she doesn't want the cover to distract from the fact that SHE still is the most important aspect of the shoot, given she's the artist, not the other person in frame.
When topics like gendered power dynamics come up, I personally like to begin dissecting something by trying to understand the context. Using media literacy tools like critical thinking, and asking questions, I can come up with context-curious questions like, "What might the agenda be for this photoshoot? To make money? To identify her a certain way?" also, "what might the message be here?" and "who else might influence her decision making process?"
It can also be helpful to look outside the frame of this photo and think about how her audience may receive it, who her audience is made up of, the repercussions of addressing or not addressing nuance and the boundaries of play or fantasy (as this photo may allude to), and where else people are getting their education on gender and power from.
Art is such a big part of culture, and for as long as art has been around, art depicting sexuality has been around. The concept of the "male gaze," coined by Laura Mulvey, helps to identify and define some of the depictions of women/non-men in media, but certainly does not cover everything. It always helps to be curious and come to art/music/cultural events with an open mind and questions. Who knows what Sabrina Carpenter's goal was with the photo, and until she names it, we may not ever know.
Stay curious, name nuance, and ask questions <3
Now let's hear from all of YOU! What do you think about this cultural phenomenon and recent album cover?
-
Anya
- scarleteen staff/volunteer
- Posts: 165
- Joined: Mon Jun 10, 2024 4:23 pm
- Age: 20
- Awesomeness Quotient: I make my own jewelry!
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: Pansexual
- Location: UK
Re: feminism and female submissives in heterosexual relationships
Here are some articles and advice columns as well that we've done on similar topics that I thought of when you asked this question:
Is Sex Positivity Just Another Version of the Male Gaze?
Is Something Wrong With Me Because I Like BDSM? Can I Like it and Still be a Feminist?
Hot Girl Hangups: Talking Through the Tension Between Bimbos and Feminism
Can I be a Feminist and Still be a "Girly" Girl?
Is Sex Positivity Just Another Version of the Male Gaze?
Is Something Wrong With Me Because I Like BDSM? Can I Like it and Still be a Feminist?
Hot Girl Hangups: Talking Through the Tension Between Bimbos and Feminism
Can I be a Feminist and Still be a "Girly" Girl?
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camila
- not a newbie
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2025 9:31 pm
- Age: 21
- Awesomeness Quotient: optimistic and curious!
- Primary language: español
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: arospec lesbian
- Location: usa
Re: feminism and female submissives in heterosexual relationships
thank you for the reply, anya! i really think your perspective helped me look at this differently; i hadn't even considered that sabrina carpenter could have been blending submission and domination, but after taking a look at her body language with that in mind, it makes a lot of sense to me! i also like your approach with analyzing media a lot. it seems like the questions you are asking are more speculative and are juggling different possibilities, while most of the discussion i've seen around the album cover makes assumptions about those things that we don't have clear answers to—which causes a lot of people to talk past each other.
i also really appreciate the articles you linked. in them i've noticed that there is one point that gets stressed a lot: what is feminist (empowering) to one person might not be feminist to another, and that's just a consequence of the differences between our cultures and individual lived experiences. i had never really thought of it that way, and i think i'll be applying that from now on.
i also really appreciate the articles you linked. in them i've noticed that there is one point that gets stressed a lot: what is feminist (empowering) to one person might not be feminist to another, and that's just a consequence of the differences between our cultures and individual lived experiences. i had never really thought of it that way, and i think i'll be applying that from now on.
"the only thing i do know is that we have to be kind. please, be kind. especially when we don't know what's going on."
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