Orgasming

[Angelically]

Okay so, I am 14F and have been sexually active (like masturbating) for a good few years.

But I guess I don’t really have “amazing” orgasms, Y’know? Like I think I have orgasms, like it’s building but then the pleasure just like, sort of calms. And usually my arm gets tired just rubbing lmao. But like my orgasms feel sort of limp, like they’re not really relieving or anything.

Is there anything I’m doing wrong, or am I just like doomed to sad orgasms

[Sofi]

Hi there, welcome to the boards!

You know, this is probably one of the top most asked questions we get around here. It's very common to feel like your orgasms aren't what they "should be", but most of that comes from watching sexual media and assuming real life will feel how that looks, which is often acted or exaggerated.

There's a chance what you're experiencing are orgasms, and there's also a chance they aren't, and the pressure you're adding to masturbating is what's blocking you. That, or you aren't using the best technique for YOUR body - we all get pleasure in unique ways, so experimenting and finding the best ways for ourselves is important! And, our brain is our primary sex organ, so when we've got pressure to orgasm, that can actually prevent it from happening.

What if you took orgasms off the table for now, and went into masturbation as just experimentation and pleasure and fun - with no need to orgasm or no expectations? Just relax, and enjoy it for what it is. Try to do that from now on and see where it takes you. How does that sound?

[Heather]

I want to also add a thing! How intense orgasm feels often has more to do with how turned on a person is -- before and during -- than with what they are doing physically.

So, connected to what Sofi said: when you are masturbating, are you feeling really excited and aroused? Are you staying in that headspace and exploring pleasure for pleasure's sake throughout, or are you only or mostly focused on orgasm and either not being that turned on in the first place, or losing a lot of that arousal because of focusing on orgasm?

[Angelically]

I start off excited and all, or as much as I can feel it I suppose (I don’t really know if I feel an adequate amount of emotion time to time), till I am interrupted by the fear of being caught by my parents or my brother watching tv despite it being way past his bed time, or even the cats meowing loudly. I sort of just slip out of it, Y’know?

But truthfully, I don’t even feel that excited about the act. I guess I just feel the sort of build, as little as it may be, nice and takes my mind off of stuff.

[char]

Hi Angelically,

Chiming in to say that I can relate to what you're feeling, and I tend to feel this more often when I'm in a situation when and where I have to be more alert of my surroundings. Do you think these fears of being caught or the sounds of your cats affect how you've been masturbating so far?