question about sexual harassment?

[akiragoal]

this is my first post here. hi. i'm sorry if this isn't the right place to go but i don't want to intrude on the abuse & assault board because i'm not entirely sure if my question is exactly fitting for it? and i don't want to trigger or re-trigger anyone in that space. but um. anyway.

i'm wondering about the logistics behind what constitutes as sexual harassment, just out of curiosity (and partially because of something stupid i did when i was 15 that i've been. ruminating over. <- guy who has ocd. but i digress)

now i'm going to ask this because i've been doing research on the subject, which is compulsive and hasn't helped me much i admit but i'm a little. confused??? about it? and i've confided in people close to me about it but definitely not in a healthy way (in the sense of me being over-reliant and panicky/guilt-ridden) and instead of doing that again i wanted to try shooting my shot with asking people who might know more about this sort of thing.
(or well. DO know about this sort of thing. this is an education network. what am i saying)

a lot of sources about sexual harassment specifically regard the workplace and all which makes things a little confusing but i'm going to try and boil it down to what i'm specifically confused about, sorry if i'm a bit unclear i don't really have the desire to heavily proofread this because it's like 2am and i'm exhausted to high heaven.

i'm wondering if sexual harassment is a pattern of behavior always, or if it's sometimes constituted by a singular act? upon basic googling (and yes, even asking the ai, i admit that was probably stupid because i know that thing hallucinates) i was given an answer such as (to my memory):
"usually sexual harassment is identified by persistence/pervasiveness, but if a singular act is severe enough, it can constitute sexual harassment right then and there" - and that confuses me a little because if the act is severe enough wouldn't you just call it assault?? or is continuing to call it "harassment" regardless of the severity more of a workplace thing?? and also, what kind of acts would constitute it being "severe"?? like a one-off sexual comment or innuendo or joke or advance on someone, can that be "severe"? is the action itself the problem or is it moreso continuing after the other person shows disinterest rather than changing the subject or moving on if they show disinterest/say something ambiguous about it? like i'm very confused about it all really.

i can talk about the issue i'm ruminating on if you wish because maybe part of my worry is because there's an obvious disconnect between a workplace harassment issue and. direct messages between two teenagers with one who made a bold sexual advance that was ambiguously(?) received. (<- in. simple terms. pardon me if that's not clear enough.)
it might be silly of me to be digging into a 2 year old exchange i didn't even remember until recently but i tend to have a lot of fixations on the specific theme of me either being a perpetrator or victim (to varying degrees of "rationality" or "possibility") due to my ocd problems. and i don't expect you guys to help me with the ocd aspect in particular jsyk, it's moreso a contextual addition. either way the mere possibility of me doing something like that horrifies me beyond belief and has made me feel very very terrible as of late, especially because it's something that i've never repeated since and feels very out-of-character for how i am now.
if anything over the past year or so i've become a boundary FREAK like i get remorseful over the mere idea of overstepping ON ACCIDENT. but i've kind of always been this way even back then i think?? i'm not sure. my memory is spotty.

just kind of curious, and maybe a little anxious. sorry if this is unclear. if any clarification is needed i'll gladly give it. and once again sorry if this is messy, first post and all. i'm a bit nervous.

[char]

Hi akiragoal, welcome to the boards Honestly, this post would be more appropriate shared on the Abuse & Assault forum, even if you're not necessarily discussing your own experience. I'll see if this post needs to be moved to that forum.

Since my shift is ending soon, I won't be able to give you lots of answers now, but I've let the rest of the volunteers know that you're here. I'll leave you with these articles for now:
- Blinders Off: Getting a Good Look at Abuse and Assault
- No Grey Area: A Journey Identifying and Healing from Sexual Assault