15M Advice required pls help will be grateful and make me feel good or show me right way

[identity2010]

I am 15 M, I was addicted to like extreme adult content from like my 12, but 2 months ago I decided to quit it, so I slowly like reduced intensity, and 2 weeks ago finally, I BLOCKED ALL SITES THROUGH SCREEN TIME AND I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO UNLOCK IT. but I feel very very intense urges when I am idle, my brain imagines kissing a girl so so much and she also kissing me so much and having sex with her aha and she enjoying and liking and saying me not to stop I even feel a weird type of flutter like feeling in my body, it is too intense that I cannot stand or sit straight. I masturbate like 2 times a day right now, but I feel anxious after reading few articles of CSBD and all, I feel like am I addicted to sex?? because my vivid imaginations make over 2-3 hours of the day, and also sometimes it make me difficult to focus, however during work I don't pay attention to it when these thoughts come. please suggest what to do? am I right or wrong? am I bad or good? is my feelings ok for my future and my future relationships? please tell am I obsessed with sex??? help required

[Heather]

Hi there, identity2010, and welcome to the boards.

So, to start, "sex addiction" isn't a framework that most sex educators, sex therapists, or sexologists are on board with, because addiction is a framework that was built to address chemical addictions, and sex isn't like that.

What is legit for some people though, is sexual compulsivity/sexually compulsive behavior (not thoughts, behaviour, and that's what CSBD is). We're not people who can tell you if that's something you suffer from or not, because that's a clinical diagnosis that only a qualified mental healthcare provider could determine for you after working with you privately. Things like CSBD are also not things anyone should be trying to self-diagnose, and it sounds like looking into that on your own is creating anxiety for you. The same goes for something else which may be more of an issue here for you, which is intrusive thought. I'd suggest you stop googling this stuff, as you're not going to be qualified to figure this out on your own and it clearly is only making you anxious and upset instead of being helpful to you.

That said, I can ask you some questions that might help us figure out in the way we can if what's been going on with you is something that is or isn't a problem, and if what's been going on is the kind of thing where it would make sense to talk with a therapist about. I also want to make clear that it's very likely none of this is a problem, this is just you being 15 and in puberty. <3

If that sounds good to you:
• With things like looking at porn: is that something you feel like you have done even when you really, really didn't want to and were trying not to, or was it more something you could control, but you just felt really compelled by?
• The thoughts you're having: do they result in any behaviour, or are they just daydreams and other thoughts?
• Those daydreams about kissing and other kinds of sexual activity, as well as your own masturbation: do those things generally feel good to you, or do they feel like things that really bother you, are unwanted, or feel like a kind of torture?

[identity2010]

No, I can like control if I want to, and I was not addicted like so much (like watching for few mins a day only just to masturbate) and when I was out of station, I didn't even watched them for 2-3 days, and also the thoughts ig doesn't like result in any behaviour but I felt like why they are coming because they distract me. well I don't feel it like much unwanted because somehow they give pleasure but I was just asking is it normal or not??

[identity2010]

pls don't judge me, pls tell is it normal or not?

[char]

Hey identity2010. For new users like yourself, we do have to manually moderate and accept posts to keep our message boards safe and on-topic, so thank you for waiting. As Heather said, experiencing sexual thoughts is completely normal for young people--and yes, these thoughts can sometimes appear out of nowhere even when you're not actively looking for sexual media. It also sounds like you are able to recognize that these thoughts exist, while also not feeling like you must masturbate to them.

When you said these thoughts can be distracting, have they ever stopped you from doing important things, like helping around the house or doing your school assignments?

[identity2010]

it like don't stop me but however distract me sometimes only, during flow work like coding, it come but I don't pay attention to it but when like one work is done, they distract me completely and also cause brain fog I guess. I masturbate one time a day in the morning but I feel like I am doing death grip because I have no other choice but to finish it asap because my parents don't allow me, when I was caught one time they scolded me and gave me myths which aren't scientifically proven as I read on ur website that's why. well I always try to respect all the girls and I don't even try to talk or touch them without their interest. pls tell am I good person? am I normal? is this vivid fantasy normal???

[identity2010]

should I masturbate to release these feelings because they feel very very intense? or should I resist?