I can’t orgasm or feel lots of pleasure

[User1532]

Hey so I’m 17 nearly 18 and I’ve never been in a romantic situation to feel anything remotely sexual which is why I think I’m not able to reach a climax. I don’t really masturbate a lot or often nor am I sure I do it right. I find a small amount of pleasure from clit work, I’ve tried using fingers. I can fit one in but whenever I try 2 it either doesn’t fit or only just fits and feels a bit uncomfortable. And I don’t find much pleasure doing it. Is there any tips to help reaching a climax or finding more pleasure in it?

[Sofi]

Hi there, User1532. This is actually a super commonly asked question here - if you type in "can't orgasm" into the search bar on the message boards, you'll find tons of posts asking basically the same exact question. I suggest you look through some of those threads for more insight, but the short version is that this is usually a mental thing due to the pressure you're putting on yourself to orgasm. Our primary sex organ is our brain, so any time you're not in a great headspace or you're distracted by wanting to orgasm, for example, it can actually make it way less enjoyable.

While we can't give you specific tips (because everyone likes different things and discovering what works best for you is part of the journey), I would suggest removing orgasm from the equation and just focusing on pleasure. There's a lot more than just clitoral stimulation and fingering, and there's no right or wrong ways to masturbate. That said, if something feels uncomfortable, don't do it. It's supposed to be fun, and thinking you have to orgasm takes away from that quite a bit. Do you think you can take that off the table for now and try to just focus on what feels good?