Virginity

[Anonymous123]

I have decided to lose my virginity, and I'm almost 17. Everyone I know except for my best friend has already lost it. And my friends losing it soon. I was already planning on doing it but this guy didn't want to. And right now I'm really horny and I want to explore sex. But I'm scared I'm going to chicken out. So I would really like some stories of how other girls lost it, and should it really be special?

[Sam W]

Hi Anonymous,

Peoples first experience with sex are so variable, but it's pretty normal for it to be a little fumbly and awkward (we don't really use the concept of virginity around here, since the definition varies so widely from person to person, plus it leaves out a bunch of sexual activities that aren't penetrative sex). There's no one way that the experience "should" go.

But more than that, it might help to consider both why you want to start being sexually active now, and if you're ready to deal with the risks involved. We've got some info on that here:
Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist

That's not to discourage you from having sex if you're ready and willing and have a ready and willing partner. But it can help a lot to go into the decision as informed as possible, both about what you want to get out of the experience, and also what might happen as a result of it.