Still feel anxiety and I don't know what to do anymore

[coffeebeans]

I know I not supposed to label myself right now. But know I'm feeling anxious and I need help??

I don't know what to to anymore. I'm just scared and I used to be excited when I was questioning my sexuality but I still feel anxiety and my tummy hurts.

I wish I could talk to someone about it but I can't because I don't think anyone would understand how I'm feeling right now. My parents will think I'm making a big deal over nothing and I don't know what else to do. I want to think about being in a relationship with the same sex without feeling anxiety.

[char]

Hi coffeebeans. I'm so sorry that you're currently feeling anxious. Just to be clear, what kind of help can we offer you to make you feel less anxious? Is there anything that prompted this feeling?

Know that we can't help with mental health issues, but we do have a list of resources that you can check out: Anxiety and Other Mental Health Resources

[coffeebeans]

I want to enjoy f/f media again but I get anxious about it. And I try to attach myself to a character but I really don't feel like I have space to enjoy stuff anymore. I feel like I'm being watched. Never felt that way for anything else I watch but now I don't think I could enjoy it anymore.

And I used to think about being in a relationship with a woman and sure I was anxious it wasn't as bad as now and I still liked it.

I like pretending I'm a different gender or at least at little gender non conforming and it makes me feel better when I'm thinking about being in a relationship with someone. I don't think I feel comfortable anymore and I can't do anything about it.

Happy pride and sorry about that

[Heather]

Happy pride to you, coffeebeans.

How about we talk about what exactly you think you're feeling scared of? Where do you think this anxiety is coming from, and what do you think these fears are based in?

[coffeebeans]

I think it because I still feel uncomfortable with myself and my thoughts maybe. I can't find a job and my parents wouldn't let me work so I can't really go anywhere if I wanted to. Plus they would worry if I go away from home for to long. Do I can't really say I could go to pride (it's a night event) to meet other people.

I feel like if I was finally able to go out and meet people it wouldn't be what I expected. Like what if my feelings somehow changed and I don't actually feel the way that I do? I don't really want my feelings to be "a phase" but I really wouldn't know what I like or want if I don't go out for experience.
I feel like I'm running out of time in figuring myself out and I don't have anyone to talk to about it because I rely on my parents so much I'm scared they kick me out. When I told my mom about someone being kick out of their home because they're parents found out they were trans she said she feels like children who queer or trans would have to keep whatever they feel to themselves.

Maybe it would be better if they did kick me out so I finally learn how to fend for myself idk. When I talked to people my age they just told me what I feel was just a phase or it probably because of trauma but idk anymore.

[Heather]

Well, I can certainly understand how you're feeling given all of that. It makes sense to me that you'd feel pretty overwhelmed, anxious and fearful with all of that in your head.

You're talking about some things that are actually happening, and present real issues, and some other things that are projected fears, not things that are actually happening. And, looking at most of those, I suspect most of that won't be what does happen, while some of it could, but would probably feel different for you than you image, or be less devastating than you imagine.

Are you open to my talking about that latter group, the things not actually happening, with the aim of helping avail you of some stress and fear around those things?