I'm struggling to get wet

[Tealscarf]

I'm normally aroused ( I think), even when I'm in the mood for something i don't get wet as I thought i would. I don't know what to do for it. Maybe it's the excess media consumption? Or how I'm excessively doing stuff to myself? I don't think I get wet easily and I wanna fix that, i end up going in semi dry. I've tried a bit of teasing and touching myself on other places like my thighs, chest and all, but nothing seems to work. Help please

[char]

Hi Tealscarf, sorry to hear that you've found it challenging to be aroused.

We can't say for sure what caused this, but for a lot of people, getting aroused can be difficult if they're tired and/or stressed from day-to-day activities. Another factor could be the environment you're in—is anything in your room too loud or too bright? Are there any scents you think might be helpful to get you in the mood? And there's also the internal pressure to feel good now that we might consciously or unconsciously realize. That pressure can make someone anxious, and hinder them from feeling good at their own pace. Would you say any of these points apply to you?

Like Hannah and Heather said on your first post about orgasm, it's a good practice to continue exploring what works for you out of curiosity, including using lube. Additionally, since you mentioned media, we can't say that you're consuming "too much" of it, but it could be helpful to change things up by checking out different things. How does this sound to you?

[Tealscarf]

I know that it was possible for me to get wet before, an year ago or something but ever since then it progressively gets more difficult to get natural lubrication even if I am in the mood. Usually I don't get a lot of privacy for myself so usually I settle for "quickies", tho I'm not sure if i even get wet when I do get the nights for myself. It's a never ending cycle of going in and the feeling/pleasure dying faster every time. I'm not sure if I can even get lube here, but I'm upset with how this issue of mine usually leaves me unsatisfied and constantly bothered.

I would blame it on my medication except it's been a long time since I've stopped taking them yet the same problem still persists.
Is there any way that i could experience natural wet arousal again?
It feels no matter how hard I try, I just don't get as wet (or wet at all) as I used to

[Anya]

Hey there Tealscarf,

I do want to mention that many people experience similar concerns around how much vaginal lubrication they're producing, especially given media that often doesn't display any "artificial lubrication," and presents scene after scene where were supposed to believe everything shown is actually how it's experienced. In mainstream porn, a majority of the time - if not, arguably, really all the time - there is lube involved. They don't show this because audiences are pretty disinterested in the application of lube, but it's definitely one of the biggest misconceptions perpetuated by mainstream porn, the idea that everyone is wet all the time, even when aroused. In reality, though they are connected bodily functions and feelings, they are not synonymous, and are not always both experienced at the same time.

Now it sounds like you have experienced both situations: feeling like, before, the amount of vaginal lubrication you produce is regular for you, and right now when it seems it's not. In general, excluding things like changing medication dosage which may play a part, I think the best course of action will be to seek out a lube to use for yourself! It is very very common for people to use lube during masturbation, we even have multiple articles on it! My recommendation is for you to check out: Lubricant (Not Diamonds) Is A Girl's Best Friend

And for more lube basics, check out:
Quickies: Lube
Lube 101: A Slick Little Primer

[Tealscarf]

I can't really buy lube here, it's going to be difficult. I'm just wondering why I don't get as wet as I used to. About an year ago or something I'd be fine but nowadays it's usually dry.

[char]

Hi again! Thanks for explaining more about your situation. I did some research, and unfortunately there isn't a lot of information on how antidepressants influence your sexual desire and arousal after you're no longer on the medication. Could you share how long have you been off your antidepressants? Also, would this be possible to bring up to your psychiatrist or other medical professional that prescribed you with the antidepressants?

Additionaly, as I've mentioned in my previous response, it can be helpful to consider other parts of your life that might affect your ability to become aroused. This article has some questions you can refer to: Where's my sex drive driven off to? If there's anything on this list that's relevant to you, save for the antidepressants (which you should discuss with a professional), we can talk about how you can improve and/or manage them.

As for lube--as far as I know, you don't need an ID to get one, and they should be available in pharmacies and supermarkets. Are you more concerned in buying them, storing them, or both?

Lastly for now, do know that sometimes, there are times in our lives where we might not feel as high of sexual desire than we expect, and that's completely okay. After all, there a lot of things that can influence our sexual desires.

[Tealscarf]

Alright, I'll read up. It's been a few months since I stopped my medicine. I stopped talking to my therapist and year ago so I have no contact with her. And just a little thing about my "wetness", if i insert a finger while in the mood, there is white creamy stuff there, but never the clear sticky liquidy arousal (exactly what I'm missing out on). The creamy stuff makes sliding in and out easier of course but I still want to know why I can't get wet like how I used to.

[amber]

Hi Tealscarf,

As Anya mentioned, vaginal lubrication is something that is often exaggerated in media. It also is a bodily function that can change pretty significantly based on many things. Social things like stress, as char mentioned, can be impactful. While physical things like hormones may be a cause as well.

If you are really worried you could ask your doctor, especially if you want to ask about the medication you were on. Otherwise, it may be that you are in a phase in which you are not producing the same level of lubrication as you were in the past.

That might not be the answer you were hoping to hear but hopefully it helps you better understand your body and offers some stress relief towards your feelings.