what i’ve done was basically my entire fault for letting this happened, had i not put myself in this situation. unfortunately i’m dealing with an ex at work who basically withhold serious information in regards of std’s that could’ve put my health at risk, along with other factors that has impacted my mental health. i broke it off with him in February due to these issues, and i felt like the relationship was draining me. i will admit that i tried to be friends with him right after only because he asked me to and i thought it would lessen the tension between each other at work.
i decided to distance myself once i realized being friends with him was stagnating my progress on healing from the breakup and getting me nowhere, only for him to try to reach out to me on two different phone numbers (he stopped when i asked him to). found out recently from an ex girlfriend he has a past history of assault which made me want to ask for transfer. tried looking for applications in the desired location, but they were closed. still wanted to tell my manager about what happened between us, that i didn’t feel comfortable working with him (didn’t mention to them what the ex said about the assault or abuse), and they said they’ll talk to him. that didn’t work out, however. now he’s mad, and i feel like i shouldn’t have spoken out in the first place because i basically feel like i put my job in jeopardy.
i’m kind of scared about what he’ll do, tbh. i called out due to illness, and also i’ll admit im scared of facing repercussions from speaking out. these past days feel so good getting away from that job and him, but i have to clock in tmrw. i have an appt at my work source already set up next month to get another job, don’t know how long the process will take, but my friends and pretty much everyone around me says i should quit. i believe i have enough money saved up.
before anyone says, yes i own up to my mistake and learned that dating a coworker, a rule that i thought i would stick to years ago, is never a good idea. however, i don’t think working there any longer will add any benefit for my mental health. if i were to put my two weeks in, i would probably want to do it before school starts, so in late july or early august. im not currently in school right now since its summer break. I’m working four days a week. I’m also taking a bit of a mental break for myself so I can feel at least charged in the fall because so much has burned me out, and I feel like I have lost my spark.
should i quit soon once school starts, or if i get another job? i need help.
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We ask that users looking for general, ongoing emotional support post in this area of the boards, and that you use this space to both ask for, give and receive that support primarily from each other, rather than from our staff and volunteers. As a staff, we simply are often too overextended with all we need to do in running the organization and its services to do that for extended periods of time, and one of our main aims of our community at the boards has always been to facilitate peers to better be there for each other.
Users often report that they have no in-person peers they can talk to or seek support from: we want this to be a space for online peer support and somewhere everyone can get some practice asking for, getting and giving support so that doing it with people in your lives feels more doable.
Please remember that neither staff, volunteers nor your fellow users can provide or replace mental healthcare when that is something you need. Users struggling with issues like anxiety, depression, abuse or physical health issues are strongly encouraged to seek out qualified, in-person help with those issues in addition to peer or staff support.
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arilishart
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Re: should i quit soon once school starts, or if i get another job? i need help.
Hi arilishart,
I'm sorry to hear your ex did that, that is NOT okay. I want to check in with you regarding your health, is everything okay?
We are never going to blame you for dating a coworker who turned out to be an abuser, and neither should you blame yourself. I completely agree working there is not a good idea at this point. If you're able to afford it, I would seriously suggest quitting and not going back, especially if you know you're going to see him there on your upcoming shift. You can tell your boss the truth or not - it's not a requirement, but it's okay if you do. Either way, it sounds like this person isn't safe to be around and your safety should be the priority. Your employers don't seem to care much considering all they did was talk to him once and that's it, so you don't need to put them before your safety if they've made it clear they don't really care about your safety. Are you able to quit as soon as possible, or do you have to hold out til late July/early August?
I'm sorry to hear your ex did that, that is NOT okay. I want to check in with you regarding your health, is everything okay?
We are never going to blame you for dating a coworker who turned out to be an abuser, and neither should you blame yourself. I completely agree working there is not a good idea at this point. If you're able to afford it, I would seriously suggest quitting and not going back, especially if you know you're going to see him there on your upcoming shift. You can tell your boss the truth or not - it's not a requirement, but it's okay if you do. Either way, it sounds like this person isn't safe to be around and your safety should be the priority. Your employers don't seem to care much considering all they did was talk to him once and that's it, so you don't need to put them before your safety if they've made it clear they don't really care about your safety. Are you able to quit as soon as possible, or do you have to hold out til late July/early August?
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