Extremely confused about identity

[scarletsymphony]

I figured out recently that im probably aromantic, which is fine and honestly makes alot of sense, but it made me start rethinking my sexual identity too and im really confused

I'm beginning to think im asexual too but its really complicated because i dont mind and even like that sort of stuff in a fantasy context, thoughts, etc, and as long as its just me and my room and my head its fine so i always thought oh well in those thoughts its usually men, so im just gay. but now that im rethinking it all im realising i hate seeing that stuff if it involves real people, everytime i see a sex scene on tv i wince no matter whos in it

so then after that i looked around a bit and found aegosexual, which yeah, fit the bill, but it just?? doesnt feel right. i dont know. im not even sure im fully *against* it when it comes to real people i just dont like the generic. you know. clothes off that whole shabang

im gonna be honest here and say half of this i think is just me being in denial about probably being asexual but the other half is just. actual confusion because WHAT DO I EVEN LIKE???why is it so complicated im gonna explode did i even do this forum thing right

[amber]

Hi scarletsymphony and welcome to the boards!

We often have folks come onto the boards stressing similar feelings as the one's you're experiencing. It can feel stressful to not feel like there is a label that fits you quite right or that a label you use starts to not fit so will anymore. I am sorry you have been feeling stressed about your sexual identity in these ways.

The truth is labels are meant to fit us not mold us to fit them. The words we use to describe our sexual or gender identities are meant to make our lives easier, not harder. You identity with the term asexual but have some sexual interest in fantasy, so what? We are never bound to the words created to attempt to describe the complicated fluidity of attraction or gender.

I also wanted to link a few great articles from our site which talk about this as well.

Just the Basics, Ace: An Asexuality Primer

The Answers (for Now)

What would it feel like to hold onto a label that didn't fit perfectly? How about not focusing on labeling your identity at all?